


Funeral for the Doctor

by Nicor_Fyrweorm



Series: Last of the Time Lords [17]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: Awesome Sarah Jane Smith, Episode: 2010 Xmas A Christmas Carol, Episode: s04e05 Death of the Doctor, Episode: s04e06 Death of the Doctor Part II, Gen, Minor Character Death, The Characters Do What They Want, The Master (Doctor Who) Gets A Hug, The Master Has Issues (Doctor Who), This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 11:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30138846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicor_Fyrweorm/pseuds/Nicor_Fyrweorm
Summary: Sarah Jane wanted to attend the Doctor's funeral and figure out what had happened. Jo Jones wanted to see the Doctor one last time. Tom Milligan wanted to show his respects to the man who'd meant so much to his wife.The Doctor wanted people to stop spreading false rumors about him. Oh, and he wanted his TARDIS back.Or, the one where the Doctor has a funeral, and he's late even for that.
Relationships: Amy Pond/Rory Williams, Clyde Langer & Sarah Jane Smith, Jo Grant & Santiago Jones, Jo Grant & Sarah Jane Smith, Jo Grant & The Master, Jo Grant & Tom Milligan, Martha Jones/Thomas Milligan, Rani Chandra & Clyde Langer, Rani Chandra & Sarah Jane Smith, Sarah Jane Smith & Tom Milligan, The Master & Amy Pond (Doctor Who), The Master & Rory Williams, The Master & Sarah Jane Smith, The Master & Tom Milligan
Series: Last of the Time Lords [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1511825
Comments: 16
Kudos: 16





	1. Death Notice

They're chatting with Luke through the computer when it happens. Mister Smith activates, and a sentence Sarah Jane hadn't expected to hear comes out of the supercomputer's speakers. 

“Emergency broadcast. UNIT armed forces are converging on this house, Sarah Jane, right now.” 

UNIT _armed_ forces? Why would UNIT send armed forces to her house, to 13 Bannerman Road? They know Sarah Jane, they even know what she's doing, even if she doesn't agree with their methods, and they leave her space to do her job and enjoy her 'hobby'. 

Martha Jones-Milligan and Mickey Smith had made sure of that, among others. Sarah Jane is not a gun-toting criminal, or a genius terrorist, or anything of the like. She's a journalist, and former companion of the Doctor. She's a _mediator_ of whatever aliens happen to come to Earth, as long as they want her help, or a protector of Earth if they don't. 

And they should know better than to show up to her house _armed._

Clyde and Rani follow her after she says a hasty goodbye to Luke and makes for the door, not running but firm in her step. She gets outside to see two black cars in front of her driveway, with soldiers in uniform and red berets securing a perimeter around her house. A petite woman faces the house, clad in the same uniform, but she recognizes the glint of the stars on her shoulders as an indicative of her being in charge of this operation. 

Whatever the operation is. 

“Stop right there!” Sarah Jane orders as she approaches them, and the UNIT woman knows well enough to stop by her subordinates' side just outside her driveway. “I'm not having soldiers on my property.” 

“Everything okay?” Haresh calls from his garden, where he's standing with a watering can. 

“Yes, fine. They're just leaving,” she answers with a pleasant smile that turns into tight-lipped expectation when she turns it to the UNIT woman. 

“Miss Smith, my name is Colonel Tia Karim, representing the Unified Intelligence Task Force,” she introduces herself, shifting her weight on her heels as she assesses Sarah Jane as well as Rani and Clyde. “If I could have a word in private?” she asks as she makes to step forward, but Sarah Jane immediately lifts a hand. 

She doesn't hate UNIT, she never could, even if she doesn't agree with their methods, sometimes. But she doesn't know this Colonel Karim, and she doesn't appreciate her showing up at her door with armed soldiers. 

The few times Mickey Smith has come around for help or counsel regarding UNIT, instead of meeting her just to chat, sometimes with Martha and Tom as well, he has always done so unarmed and, with the exception of his friend Jake, unaccompanied. He makes sure to show up out of uniform too, to avoid attracting unwanted attention to her or this calm area of Ealing. Mickey wants to help people, not get them in trouble. They might not always agree with each other's methods, but they can most certainly agree on _that._

Colonel Karim has just invaded Sarah Jane's home and _insulted_ her by bringing guns to their meeting. _Uninvited._ She's more than justified for being curt with Karim. 

“You're not getting any closer. Just tell me, what do you want?” she orders, and clearly, Karim knows well enough to not push her boundaries any further. 

She keeps bouncing on her toes as she speaks, but as the words come out, the tic fades away, going, probably, to the same place Sarah Jane's warmth is taken to. 

“I'm sorry, but it's my solemn duty to inform you that your friend, the Doctor… is dead.” 

_She will never be forgotten._

She remembers like it was yesterday, and with a stab of pain that she hadn't expected to still feel after all these months. 

Sarah Jane had known the Doctor had saved the day, though not what from, exactly. A mass hypnosis followed by a planet appearing practically atop Earth and disappearing almost as fast as it had come… Another attempt at a repeat of the Medusa Cascade? She didn't know what that was about, but she had covered for the Doctor, of course. He was the kind of man who saved the day and moved on, and while he thought humanity was ready to learn about alien life, Sarah Jane was the one actually living on Earth, and thus knew better. 

What she hadn't expected was to see the TARDIS so soon after that… piloted by a man who wasn't the Doctor. 

She hadn't recognized him at first, not when she'd seen the strange hooded person next to her scared son, so alike Harold Saxon that she hadn't hesitated to take out her sonic lipstick. She had heard about Saxon's true identity from Martha and Captain Harkness, the one time they all managed to meet after the Medusa Cascade, when Wilf Mott had told them about Donna's memory loss and what that would mean for her. 

It had been a sad meeting, but they had soon turned it into story time and, eventually, the tale of the 'Year that Never Was' came up. Sarah Jane had only known the official story, about Saxon going insane and creating the Toclafane. But as soon as Jack had spoken the name 'the Master', Sarah Jane had gasped in realization. 

She had never met him, but she'd read UNIT's files on him, and the stories the soldiers there had told her about. But most of all, she'd heard _the Doctor's_ tales. And every time she got him to talk about the Master, _every single time,_ the Doctor had smiled. They had different opinions on various species of the universe and, most importantly, on how to deal with things, but he was the Doctor's 'best enemy', his best friend and rival, all at once. She had thought it impossible that a man who had threatened to conquer Earth so many times could be spoken about with as much fondness as the Doctor did the Master, but she'd witnessed it. Over and over and over. Harry Sullivan had theorized it was their alien nature, how maybe they didn't think of planet conquest as anything more serious than, oh, a game of capture the flag. 

What Martha and Jack had told them was completely different. They described a madman and genocidal tyrant with a sadist streak that had scared them all, and Jack hadn't even started to scratch the surface of what the Year had been for him. But when they got to how Saxon had been defeated… Both Martha and Jack had exchanged a conflicted look and agreed. The Doctor hadn't wanted the Master to die. He'd been _devastated,_ but not at losing the last member of his species. _He had looked more worried than delighted when he'd learnt there could be another Time Lord still around,_ Martha had said, not looking them in the eye but shuddering at the memory, and Jack had shaken his head and they had all let it go. 

No, the Doctor hadn't mourned the loss of the last Time Lord besides himself, but the death of _his best friend._

Martha had been curt and unforgiving, completely lost as to how a man like the Doctor could care so much for the Master, even with their past history. Jack had been more understanding, chalking it to having seen more in his long life and many travels, but he hadn't looked at them in the eye. 

Sarah Jane had been quiet, remembering the Doctors of her youth, and contrasting them with the one of her adulthood, the man who lost everything. She remembered how he had clung to what little he had left, to his companions, and how… how _ruthless_ he'd been, so much more than her first Doctors. Sacrificing K9… He might have given her a new one with the downloaded memories of her old K9, but still, she had had a good long thought about it for a week or so. 

The Doctor had changed. His loss had defined him, as much as his exile to Earth had done, back in the day. 

What is to say Gallifrey's loss hadn't affected the Master as well? 

But still, she knew better than to underestimate the Master, and so she'd put herself between the Time Lord and her son with her sonic lipstick in hand. And then, he'd started talking. 

_“Sarah Jane Smith. You haven't changed at all.”_

Sarah Jane had never met Saxon or the Master. And yet, this blond Saxon with his stubble-covered jaw had looked her in the eye and _recognized_ her. 

She had hesitated then. Could this really be someone else? An old enemy of hers, taking a different face to misdirect her? 

So, she had asked. 

And his answer, and the way he'd _reacted_ to his own words, had smashed that theory to smithereens. The flash of blue that had made her eyes jump to the damaged police box hidden in the shadows of a couple trees had been the last straw. 

This _was_ the Master. Who else would the Doctor leave his TARDIS to, after his planet was destroyed? Who else would care for the Doctor as much as to deliver his last words to a species he considered beneath him? 

Sarah Jane had crumbled that day, _refusing_ to believe, not after the Doctor had saved the day yet again, she _knew_ about regeneration, the Doctor couldn't _die—_

She'd refused to believe it for a long time, and had told Luke, and later Clyde and Rani, that the Doctor wasn't dead, that he was just off to the stars, but she could tell they didn't believe her. 

Until the 26th of June. She'd woken up short of breath, throat chocked by heart-wrenching sobs, with tears streaming down her face to the point she'd almost crashed into her desk when she'd rushed to the window to look outside – and for a moment, the sky had been completely black with the exception of the moon. 

She'd blinked then, and the stars were back, but the hole in her chest was still there. 

She had stayed awake until dawn, and had only relaxed when she'd seen the sun was the same as every other day, instead of… of something _else._

And Sarah Jane had known. Because she was sure, she was _so sure_ that the universe would know it, if the Doctor were to die… A sky without stars, an Earth stuck in nothingness, the whole universe gone… It had been a dream, but somehow, Sarah Jane knew it hadn't been. 

The Doctor had died. The Master's words had come true. Why he'd come so early before it actually happened… Maybe it had been so Sarah Jane would have time to prepare herself, so she would be ready when the time came? 

But no one could _ever_ be prepared for this. 

And now, here she is, with the hole in her chest threatening to rip the scar tissue that had slowly scabbed over it since the Master's visit, all thanks to Colonel Tia Karim. 

_“I'm sorry, but it's my solemn duty to inform you that your friend, the Doctor… is dead.”_

She hears Rani and Clyde protest that it can't be, that the Doctor can't be dead, but Sarah Jane just takes another breath to get the knot in her throat to go away. 

She doesn't manage to do it, and so Karim continues when she has Sarah Jane's attention once more. 

“Last Sunday at 1700 hours, the body of a Time Lord was returned to the Earth. UNIT scientists have checked the DNA results, and it's definitely him. I'm sorry, Miss Smith, for your loss. Sorry for the whole wide world, because he's gone. The Doctor's gone. He's dead.” 

And Sarah Jane finally manages to get two words past the knot in her throat. 

“I know.” 

Karim startles, eyes wide in surprise, even as she feels Rani's hands on her shoulders and hears Clyde's questions. 

Sarah Jane shows them inside, to the attic, and Karim leaves her soldiers outside while she follows, absolutely flabbergasted. 

“How?” Karim asks, confused, even as she takes out an oval stone from a pocket. “The Doctor was found ten thousand light years away by a race called the Shansheeth. We only found out he'd died because they sent us this epitaph stone. It's the equivalent to a death notice. The Shansheeth are what you might call… intergalactic undertakers.” 

Sarah Jane smiles humorlessly as she looks at the window, and she hates that a small part of her searches for a blue box appearing out of thin air. 

“The Doctor's… _friend_ told me,” she answers, and her stomach clenches painfully even as she gets the words out. “Do you know how…?” she tries to ask, but the words get stuck in her throat. 

Sarah Jane doesn't want to know, not really, because there's the tiniest part of herself that wishes this _wasn't_ real. But on the other hand, she can't _not_ know. She went through that once already. 

“Do you have a computer where we could play this?” Karim asks softly, cautiously, lifting the stone, and Sarah Jane merely nods and picks it up. 

It's a stone with a symbol engraved on it. It feels like a stone with a symbol engraved on it. For a second after she deposits it in the tray Mister Smith offers her, she hopes that's all it will ever be. 

But then, the hologram of a large humanoid vulture appears in the middle of her attic, and all hopes are dashed. 

“That's a Shansheeth? It looks like a, huh…” Clyde exclaims, startled at the hologram's appearance, but catches himself even before Rani has to give him a look. 

It _is_ surprising to see a vulture take the part of an undertaker, but they've all learnt not to judge from appearances, alien or otherwise. 

“I can confirm the Shansheeth are known throughout the universe as the carers of the dead. It is said they trawl the battlefields of outer space, looking for heroes to bring home,” Mister Smith explains, and Sarah Jane finds herself smiling softly through her sadness. 

Clyde and Rani are listening, paying attention, _learning._ She can't help but feel proud of them, for being so open, so _willing_ to hear what others have to teach them, to understand. 

The Doctor always knew which humans to show the wonders of the universe to. It looks like Sarah Jane paid enough attention to him to do so too now. 

“Thank you, Mister Smith. Can you play the message now, please?” she asks calmly, somehow keeping her dread and a disturbing eagerness at bay. 

It's a Shansheeth, not the Doctor. But still, despite the kind of news it—they?—brings, she can't help but _want_ to hear them, to hear about the Doctor, hoping, _hoping…_

“I bring condolences from the Claw Shansheeth of the 15th Funeral Fleet upon this terrible day,” it—probably 'he', though without knowing how the species categorizes gender, it's hard to say—starts, gesturing with his clawed hands in a soft wave at the same time he bows his head. “The Shansheeth did journey to the wastelands of the Crimson Heart, whereupon we found the body of the last Time Lord. Witnesses say that he perished saving the lives of five hundred children from the Scarlet Monstrosity.” 

“Sounds like him,” Clyde whispers, but the reason Sarah Jane has tensed up and is watching the hologram with wide eyes is another part of his message. 

The _last_ Time Lord? But… what about the Master? Where was the Master? He had the Doctor's TARDIS, so he must have come to Sarah Jane to deliver the Doctor's words _after_ the Doctor dealt with this Scarlet Monstrosity. But still, does that mean the Shansheeth don't know about the Master being alive? Or did something happen to him? 

… Is that why he visited Sarah Jane after Christmas instead of now? What about the TARDIS, then? 

“The Doctor's home world is long since lost, but legends talk of his love for the Earth,” the Shansheeth continues, the hologram oblivious to the conundrum raging through Sarah Jane's mind. “Therefore, the Shansheeth will return the Doctor to the human race. Oh, weep for him, peoples of the Earth. Mourn his loss, for the universe feels darker tonight.” 

And Sarah Jane remembers the night of the 26th of June, that impossibly dark and lonely universe haunting her dreams, and shivers. 

The hologram vanishes. 

“So, what do you think?” Rani asks after a moment of silence, and Sarah Jane can't help but startle, distracted from her thoughts at last. 

“UNIT will take charge of the funeral in conjunction with the Shansheeth. We'll be using UNIT Base Five, situated inside Mount Snowdon. We can arrange transport and accommodation for all of you,” Karim answers, turning to Sarah Jane, who manages to swallow her questions for now. 

She said _in conjunction with the Shansheeth._ That means the aliens will be there, alongside who knows how many other former Doctor companions or acquaintances. Sarah Jane can ask them about the Master and the TARDIS then. 

_And the dream of the empty sky,_ a treacherous voice whispers at the back of her mind, but she pushes it away rather ruthlessly. 

“Thank you.” 

“Then you'll come?” Karim asks, stopping in her swaying once more as she reigns on her tic, and Sarah Jane smiles, even if the gesture doesn't reach her eyes. 

“I will. Nothing would ever make me miss this. I'll be there.” 

* * *

“Luke says Sarah Jane's gone mad,” Clyde tells Rani and her dad as they come out of the house, pocketing his phone. 

Haresh chastises him about that, but Clyde knows that even though Luke never said the word 'mad', that doesn't mean it's not there. 

Luke's worried, and Clyde says that much. And then listens, befuddled, as Rani tells him of _her_ mother's cleaning rampage after her grandfather died. 

No, Sarah Jane won't go on a cleaning rampage, but… 

When she'd told them, after last Christmas, that they wouldn't see the Doctor in a while because he was off doing who knows what, Clyde found it the strangest thing ever. After all, they _know_ the Doctor, Sarah Jane's old alien time- and space-traveling pal, is always off doing something, so why would she feel the need to inform them? 

And then, Luke told them about the Saxon-lookalike, and the chance that he was a friend of the Doctor's, and what _his_ visit could mean. 

They'd talked then, the three of them, about grief, and how trustworthy could anyone wearing Harold Saxon's face be, and decided to give it time until they had some _actual_ news of the Doctor from the man himself, or his old companions who sometimes dropped by for tea, or UNIT. 

Now they do. 

And instead of being as accepting as she seemed yesterday, Luke says that Sarah Jane is almost _hopeful_ now. 

Apparently, she believes UNIT might have it wrong, in some way or another. She thinks the Saxon-lookalike might be alive and have the TARDIS, of all things, or that maybe the guy the Shansheeth found _was_ the Saxon-lookalike. 

Clyde remembers the Doctor, with his crazy hair and long coat and the stripy suit he wore with _Converse,_ of all things. And then he pictures Harry Saxon, with his short brown hair and winning smile and pristine black suit and modest height. 

And his brain fizzes into laughter. 

How could _anyone_ confuse the Doctor with _Saxon?_

So, it's only natural that Luke worries. 

“It takes time, because when someone dies it's so massive, it's like you can't fit it all inside your head,” Haresh explains, and Clyde looks away, abashed. “That's what Sarah Jane's doing. She's denying it.” 

“So, what do we do?” Clyde asks then, because _that_ is the question of the hour. 

“Wait,” Haresh answers, and Clyde frowns in confusion. “That's all you can do. Friends just wait.” 

Well, isn't that _useful._

Of course, Clyde doesn't say that out loud, thankfully saved from his big mouth by the UNIT limousine parking in front of them as Sarah Jane comes out of her driveway. 

She looks better than yesterday, stronger and as determined as ever, ready to crack the case. But there's a heaviness on her shoulders, a darkness in her eyes and a sadness on her smile as she thanks Haresh for his well-wishes, which Clyde is not used to seeing. 

So, Clyde decides to lift the mood with a joke, leaning on the limousine as he turns to Haresh. 

“Keep the school running without me, sir. While I head off in my nice, big, posh motor,” he grins, patting the limousine – and jumping away as he gets a zap on the hand. “Ow! Did you see that?” 

“Static electricity,” Haresh tells him with his wise teacher mode on, giving him a _Look._ “If you paid more attention in class…” 

“Come on, you, get in,” Sarah Jane calls, already inside the backseat with Rani, but her smile is more genuine now. 

Well, glad his pain brings joy to some people, at least. 

Sarcasm aside, Clyde actually enjoys the trip to UNIT Base Five – and the base itself. 

It's built mostly inside a mountain, with huge antennae on it and a security checkpoint their driver gets them through without issue. The garage is just a garage, but there are _a lot_ of soldiers and all manner of different vehicles for them to gawk at – and Colonel Tia Karim, who shows them into the actual base proper. 

“We've allocated bedrooms,” she's saying when Clyde tunes back in from trying to take as much as he can from the base and the soldiers and the scientists and the strange tools they carry as he can. “The funeral will take place at 0900 hours tomorrow, so that gives you time to acclimatize. The doors to the funeral wing will be sealed at 2100 hours. This is still a working military base, so you'll only have access to the specified areas.” 

“Understandable,” Sarah Jane hums as she turns to Colonel Karim. “The lack of trust is insulting, though. I thought my previous relationship with UNIT would warrant us a bit more leeway.” 

“I'm sorry you feel that way, Miss Smith, but as you said, _previous_ relationship. The operations running in this base now are completely unrelated to what you were involved with, back in the day,” Karim answers, sympathetically, and Sarah Jane hums again and looks around once more. 

“Who else is coming?” 

“Well, it's all been a bit of a rush,” Karim apologizes again, turning to the front and guiding them through the bustling corridors with ease. “The Brigadier's stranded in Peru, and Miss Shaw can't make it back from Moonbase until Sunday.” 

“You've got a Moonbase?” Clyde interrupts, startled and stopping in shock, but hurries to catch up with an incredulous grin a second later, unwilling to get lost in this huge and busy place. “Oh man, I am running out of reactions.” 

And so, he's there when they round the next corner and see very familiar silhouettes around a ladder just straight ahead. 

“Wait,” Rani interrupts this time, and it isn't just Clyde this once who stops in shock. “You've got Graske? What are you doing with Graske?” 

And they are. Short, with a tentacle-like thing growing from where their ears should be and a third atop their head, and with flattened faces. Clyde can still remember the trouble Krislok got them into when he worked for the Trickster, and even though he came through in the end, he won't forget what they're capable of anytime soon. 

The UNIT Graske are blue instead of orange-brown, but Clyde knows better than to let his guard down due to this small detail. 

“Why are you letting Graske roam free in your base?” Sarah Jane demands, and Karim's confusion clears at her words. 

“Oh, they're not Graske. They're Groske,” she answers simply, as one of the 'Groske' approaches them. 

“Groske very different,” he says, using the same broken speech of any Graske. “Groske are blue. Hate Graske. Graske make me stamp my feet,” he explains unbelievably simply, stamping his feet, and Clyde exchanges a look with Rani even as Karim smiles condescendingly. 

“The Groske were stranded on Earth in 2006. We took them in, and they've been earning their keep as workmen,” she explains, and the Groske gesturing for them to follow as he walks away stops them from asking more. 

“Groske build rocket for funeral. Come and see. Come and see.” 

_Rocket?_

Rocket _indeed._

Clyde whistles under his breath when they walk out of the corridor and into a _huge_ open alcove were said rocket sits patiently, waiting for its moment to shine. 

“Rocket X-15 will take the Doctor's body into space, sealed inside a lead-lined coffin. Then he'll be set free. In death as in life,” Karim explains, more solemn, and Clyde finally remembers _why_ they are receiving this guided tour of a secret UNIT facility. 

“Forever wandering the universe,” Sarah Jane whispers almost inaudibly, her lips doing a weird half-smiling half-frowning twitch, almost like she can't decide whether she finds this poetic or heart-breaking. 

“I think it's beautiful. Just what he deserves,” Rani answers, more clearly, as she squeezes Sarah Jane's hand, and she finally settles for a tiny grateful smile as she turns to Rani. 

“It is,” she whispers, taking a deep breath to center herself before she lets go of Rani's hand and turns to Karim. “What about the TARDIS?” 

“There was no sign of it. The body was found all alone,” Karim answers compassionately, but this time, Sarah Jane frowns. 

Uh oh. 

“Blimey, though. Not so bad way to go. That's a real, proper rocket,” Clyde interrupts before whatever's buzzing in Sarah Jane's brain comes out of her mouth, trying to diffuse the growing tension he can _see_ making her shoulders stiffen. 

“Boy smells,” the Groske says, and Clyde feels _his_ tension vanish like mist in the morning. 

“Thanks a bunch. You short little titch,” he huffs back, unable to rein in on the childish impulse to insult the Groske back. 

“Clyde, of all the things for you to laugh at, height?” Rani laughs, and Clyde is glad he's black, so his blush doesn't show. 

“Yeah, you smelly bad smell boy,” the Groske immediately replies, adding insult to injury, and Clyde glares hotly enough to try and get his point across as he answers in kind. 

“You blue, bluey… blueness.” 

Or well, he _tries_ to answer in kind. 

Fortunately, Karim saves _him_ this time. 

“Anyway, this area's about to be sealed off as part of the curfew. I can take you to your bedrooms. Then the Shansheeth are holding a gathering of remembrance,” she tells them, and they follow her without complaint. 

Though Clyde holds back for a second, decided to have a _better_ last word with the Groske. 

“Just watch it, you,” he warns—not threatens, nope, not Clyde Langer—the Groske, rubbing his hand against his jeans to clean the sweat making it tingle— 

“But you see?” the Groske retorts, strangely enough, gesturing to his sweaty hand— 

And, when he lifts it up to see, he realizes the tingling is not due to sweat at all. 

There's blue energy crackling from the center of his palm, tendrils of electricity rushing over it before it vanishes without sign of it ever being there. 

“So bright. You smell of time,” the Groske adds, and Clyde turns to him with his brow furrowed in confusion and a hint of worry, rubbing his palm against his trousers again to get rid of the tingling from _the energy._

“What do you mean?” 

“He's coming.” 

And with those ominous last words, the Groske ambles away at a fast pace, and Clyde is left alone with the rocket. 

The rocket meant for the Doctor, a _time traveler._

_He's coming._

… Nah. He can't be serious, he's just a little blue twerp. Right? Because, if he _is_ serious, then that means… That would mean Sarah Jane isn't wrong, or that Clyde is just as mad as Sarah Jane, or that… 

Something is going on here, something odd that they can notice but see nothing wrong with. 

… Nah. The Groske is just being weird, that's all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much change from the original beginning of the _Death of the Doctor_ episode of _The Sarah Jane Adventures._ Yet.
> 
> I haven't seen much of _The Sarah Jane Adventures,_ so sorry if some characters are not themselves.
> 
> Also, apparently, it's canon that all (most?) of the humans that lived _The Five Doctors_ don't remember that (mis)adventure. So, yeah, Sarah Jane never met the Master from her point of view.


	2. A Journalist, a Doctor and an Activist Walk Into a Chapel

They leave their bags in their assigned shared room before Karim guides them to the 'gathering of remembrance', held in a room that has been made 'cozier' than the rest of the base through some thick black velvet curtains hung on the walls and benches with purple velvet cushions. 

The chapel, Sarah Jane assumes, taking note of the grey carpet on the floor and the wooden path leading to the altar and the large lead coffin resting on it. 

Closed. 

Part of her is grateful— _hopeful—_ to see it closed, unwilling to come face to face with the Doctor's lifeless face when it had always been so _alive._ The other part is suspicious, regardless of how much she tries to tell herself that the Master's visit was to prepare her for this exact event. 

But that same part retorts with _you've read what the Master is capable of._

The Master is, pun most likely intended, a master of disguise. And regardless of the reasons behind his attempts to conquer Earth and fight the Doctor, the fact is that he did it. Stealing the TARDIS after the Doctor's death wouldn't be unexpected – but visiting Sarah Jane to give her the Doctor's goodbye _is._

_“He could never forget you, Sarah Jane Smith. And if you don't trust me, then that's more than answer enough, isn't it? Why would I come here to tell you that, to tell a pathetic little human that she was special enough to be remembered with such fondness after so many centuries?”_

She remembers _the Doctor's_ stories about the Master, and thinks it possible that the Doctor's childhood friend cared so much to give her the message. But the man from UNIT's files or the crazed Harold Saxon who died in the Doctor's arms to claim a victory when the rest of their species is dead… No, she can't see _that man_ doing it. 

Then, _why?_

And what does that mean for _this_ situation? The TARDIS wasn't with the Doctor's body. It could be like what happened the one time the Doctor regenerated in front of Sarah Jane. He was hurt, he was someplace dangerous for a Time Lord, or just dangerous at the time, and so the Master could only take the TARDIS and leave, while the Doctor's body stayed behind. 

_“The Shansheeth did journey to the wastelands of the Crimson Heart, whereupon we found the body of the last Time Lord. Witnesses say that he perished saving the lives of five hundred children from the Scarlet Monstrosity.”_

But where does the Master fit _there?_

And if this isn't it, if _this_ isn't when the Doctor dies… If this isn't it, where's the TARDIS? Where's the Master? Where are the companions the Doctor must have been with? 

It just… It doesn't _fit._

“I'm so sorry for your loss,” one of the Shansheeth who opens the door croons with a bow, which the second quickly mirrors. 

“I'm so sorry for your loss. The Claw Shansheeth invites you to spend tonight reflecting in the memories of a loved one lost.” 

Sarah Jane barely hears them, lost in her tumultuous thoughts, and finds herself standing in front of the coffin with her next blink. 

She hears Karim tell Clyde and Rani that the people in the room are old soldiers or acquaintances of the Doctor, and how hard it is to find actual companions of the Doctor due to his quiet comings and goings. 

And Sarah Jane thinks that the Doctor's visits were anything _but_ quiet. There was no way that man could ever go unnoticed, even if he tried. 

She remembers the wide and almost _awed_ grin on the face of a new teacher at Deffry Vale School, and can't hold back a huff at how she hadn't managed to connect the dots until she'd seen the TARDIS. 

_“Hello.”_

_“Oh, I should think so.”_

She was so _blind._

So, maybe, just maybe, she's being blind now too. 

“Can I see him?” she asks without turning around, eyes never leaving the coffin, almost as if waiting for the lid to be pushed open and the Doctor to sit up, whether with a known face or a new one, as he looks at them in confusion and asks if he missed anything during his nap. 

“I don't think you'd want to,” Karim answers in a whisper, stepping to her side, but the Shansheeth she asked only bows his head almost remorsefully. 

And Sarah Jane has had _enough._

The Doctor is dead. The Doctor died, but it's only now that the rest of the universe catches up. The Master went to her but he isn't even mentioned now. The TARDIS disappeared. And _the Doctor is dead._

“That sounds to me like you're hiding something,” she snaps, turning to Karim. 

She sees someone stand up behind the Colonel, probably startled by her raising her voice and disrupting their 'remembrance' of a man they never even _knew_ half as well as Sarah Jane did, but she's _done._

She wants answers, and she wants them _now._

“Sarah Jane, he…” Karim starts, looking away in that _nerve-wracking_ tic that has her always shuffling or shifting her weight or _moving_ – before she stops and meets Sarah Jane's eyes with a quick look at the coffin at her back. “He was _hurt.”_

_A blue police box, battered and with paint stripped off, waits half hidden between two trees for not-Saxon-maybe-the-Master-how-who-why—_

Deffry Vale School at night, searching for an answer to the sightings and the sudden high grades— 

_“I thought you'd died. I waited for you and you didn't come back, and I thought you must have died.”_

_“I lived. Everyone else died.”_

She hadn't had the time nor the mental capacity to think about it, too overjoyed at reuniting with the Doctor at first and distracted by Mickey and Rose next. But then, when they'd finally figured out the Krillitanes' plan was to solve the Skasis Paradigm… 

_“Think of the changes that could be made if this power was used for good.”_

_“What, by someone like you?”_

_“No, someone like_ you. _The Paradigm gives us power, but you could give us wisdom. Become a God at my side. Imagine what you could do. Think of the civilizations you could save. Perganon, Assinta. Your own people, Doctor, standing tall. The Time Lords reborn.”_

The Doctor had thrown a chair into the screen, destroyed any visual reminder of the Paradigm to get rid of the temptation, and then— 

_“Where's K9?”_

_“We need to run.”_

_“Where is he? What have you done!”_

He'd given her a new model K9 with the memories of the destroyed one, yes, but that doesn't change the fact that he'd _destroyed_ the former K9. Maybe not with his own hands, but… 

_“The Doctor's soul is revealed. See him. See the heart of him.”_

_“The man who abhors violence, never carrying a gun. But this is the truth, Doctor. You take ordinary people and you fashion them into weapons. Behold your Children of Time, transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor. You made this.”_

That Dalek, Caan, and Davros had said it best, what none of them had wanted to acknowledge. They were trying to help, all of them… but they did allow Harriet Jones to sacrifice herself to contact the Doctor, and they were willing to destroy the Earth, and the Crucible, to stop the Daleks. 

What did that make them? 

_“The Doctor. The man who keeps running, never looking back because he_ dare not, _out of shame. This is my final victory, Doctor. I have shown you_ yourself.” 

Was that why? Was Davros… Were Davros, and the Metacrisis' actions, and Donna's forceful amnesia, the reason the Doctor had gone on and got himself killed? Was he trying to keep the universe out of it, so he wouldn't create more 'children of time'? 

Is Sarah Jane part of the reason the Doctor is dead? 

“Sarah Jane? Sarah Jane, hey, come here. I've got you,” a man's voice whispers, and a moment later, a black shape invades her vision and warm hands grab her arms gently but strongly enough to guide her to sit on one of the padded benches. “I'm so sorry for the Doctor's death. There, come here, let it out,” he adds, letting her bury her face in his chest as she tries to calm her breathing and vanish the sting in her eyes, his arms encircling her softly while one hand rubs her back. 

“Whoa, whoa! Who are you, man?” Clyde hisses somewhere over her head, and Sarah Jane practically _pushes_ the tears away through sheer will force, unable to leave Clyde and Rani on their own, even if they're in the middle of a UNIT Base. 

So, when she pushes back from the man's chest, she does so in time to see his mouth snapping shut and dark eyes turning to her to assess her like any good medical professional— 

And Sarah Jane smiles when she recognizes him. 

“Tom. It's good to see you again,” she manages to choke out, and after a quick once over, he relaxes and sits back again, though his hands stay on her shoulders. 

“I wish it was in better circumstances. But it's good to see you too,” he answers, squeezing her shoulders reassuringly before finally letting his hands drop. 

Tom Milligan is the epitome of 'ruggedly handsome', with his five o'clock shadow, dark hair and eyes, and chiseled features. It doesn't help that he's tall and in _excellent_ shape, and his job as a pediatrician and affiliated to Doctors Without Borders only make him more endearing. 

Of course, once one finally gets to know _him,_ that only makes it worse. Tom is loyal, caring, brave, caritative… and married to one Martha Milligan-Jones. 

“I thought you were still in Africa,” Sarah Jane comments after a moment, feeling calmer and with her voice not breaking anymore, and Tom smiles. 

“I came back a month ago. Martha is off in New York, some kind of undercover mission, so we couldn't get in contact with her. But I was at the hospital when they went to tell Mickey, and decided to come in her stead,” he explains calmly, and while Sarah Jane feels Clyde and Rani sit by her side, she's too startled by that last sentence to pay them any mind. 

“Mickey is in the hospital? Is he alright?” 

“Yes, it's fine. He got shot in the abdomen, but he received immediate treatment. He'll have to take it easy for some months, but he'll make a full recovery. He has yet to be discharged, though. I offered to take him in if he wanted. Martha should be back at the end of the month, at the latest, and I don't have any other missions this year. He's not entirely convinced,” he explains, leaning back in his seat, and Sarah Jane can't help but chuckle in relief. 

“Oh, don't you worry about that. If he doesn't take your offer, I'm dragging him to _my_ house. With Luke in university now, I have an empty room to lock him in if he doesn't behave.” 

Tom laughs quietly out of respect for the strangers in the room with them, but it's a balm to Sarah Jane's soul. 

“Wait, you know this guy?” Clyde interrupts, leaning forward to glare at Tom, while Rani studies him intently. 

“Oh, right! Neither of you have actually met him. This is Tom Milligan, Martha's husband. Tom, these are Clyde and Rani,” Sarah Jane introduces them, and while the teenagers blink in realization, Tom grins and extends a hand. 

“I've heard a lot about you from Sarah Jane and Martha. It's great to finally meet you.” 

“Yeah, you too.” 

And then Tom leans back once more, and Sarah Jane's eyes land on the coffin. 

Her smile slips off her face so fast that she's not sure it was there to begin with. 

“I don't even know what he looks like,” she whispers to herself, thinking once more to that Christmas visit from the Master. 

If that had been from _this,_ how long has it been for the Doctor since the Earth was stolen? Long enough to get the Master back, obviously, and for the Master to somehow be on good terms with the Doctor again… Or was that a ploy? Was the Master saying goodbye to the Doctor's companions in his stead to make sure they wouldn't search for the Doctor? What if the Doctor is in trouble and Sarah Jane has just sat at home, feeling sorry for the death of a man who is still alive, just because his worst enemy said so? 

_“He had a list. Places, times, people… and messages. 'Make sure Luke is alright'. You should teach the brat to look for cars before crossing the street, by the way. You won't always have a—” the Saxon-lookalike tells them, starting to scowl before he cuts himself with a chocked sound, eyes flashing with a spike of what looks, terrifyingly enough, like_ grief. 

… What if the Doctor is really dead? 

“I'm sorry?” Tom asks, and Sarah Jane startles out of her thoughts to glance at him, at his confusion, before her eyes fall on the coffin once more and she remembers her own words. 

“I think he regenerated,” she explains simply, thinking back to Christmas, and notices Clyde, Rani, Tom and Karim, who's standing by their bench, looking at her in confusion or curiosity. “That body could have a different face, and I wouldn't even know it was him. And the last time I… the last time I heard of the Doctor…” she whispers, battling against the knot trying to block her throat. “I think he got in trouble. Something big, something that…” 

Tom hugs her close to his chest once more, but doesn't say a word. Sarah Jane takes a breath, wiping away the tears that have somehow made it down her cheeks, and despite the hug, feels very alone. 

Tom is a good man, and Clyde and Rani are practically family, but… Out of everyone in this room, the only one who ever knew the Doctor somewhat well, the only one who could feel the kind of heart-wrenching pain that comes when a key piece of one's life is ripped out of their chest, is Sarah Jane Smith. 

Even if she thought she'd never feel this again after last Christmas. 

One of the Shansheeth says something about grief and a melody, but Sarah Jane isn't paying attention anymore, thinking back to her meeting the Doctor for the first time, traveling to 13th century England, defeating the Sontaran commander Linx, the invasion of the dinosaurs… 

Glass crashes and Sarah Jane startles back to the present, breaking Tom's hug to turn around and figure out where the noise has come from. 

“Oh, sorry, just ignore me,” the blond woman by the door tells everyone, standing by a tanned teenager next to a puddle of water and broken glass. “I brought flowers, which was silly, really. I mean, there's no need, is there?” she babbles, telling them about the hand-blown glass the lilies were in, and immediately changing to complimenting the Shansheeth when she notices them. 

And _that_ is when Sarah Jane finally recognizes her. She looks amazingly like her pictures of when she was still with UNIT, but it's that lack of hesitation or surprise or repulsion at the sight of what are essentially 'great big alien vultures', and how she reassures the teen, which make Sarah Jane's mind recall her name. 

Josephine Grant. The Doctor's assistant before Sarah Jane. 

“I'm sorry. I'm making an awful lot of noise, aren't I?” she apologizes again, and Sarah Jane finds herself standing up to meet her eyes as she finally makes her way into the room, approaching the bench next to theirs with the teen. “Although there is this tribe called the Nambikwara. You know, from the Mato Grosso. I lived there for about six months in 83,” she starts explaining, and while most of the others turn away, Sarah Jane doesn't, and so Jo focuses on her as she continues with her story, sitting down next to the boy. “When there's a funeral, they sing all night. I mean, they sound like birds.” 

Sarah Jane can't help it. She thinks of all of the Doctor's companions she's met, past and present, sitting around a campfire and singing songs in his honor, _for him,_ and realizes that he would have _loved_ that kind of funeral instead of this boring and somber and saddening ceremony UNIT has pulled together. 

And she laughs. 

Fortunately, while Jo looks confused, she doesn't look offended. _That_ is the last thing Sarah Jane wants, to offend someone like Jo, whom she's heard so much about. 

“Sorry, do I know you?” Jo asks, and Sarah Jane sits down again, leaning forward to be able to talk to Jo past a confused Tom's torso. 

“We've never actually met, but it's Jo Grant, isn't it?” she asks, and Jo looks so surprised that Sarah Jane barely keeps more laughter down. 

She's so _honest._ It's frankly refreshing, after all of this new UNIT's stifling rules and regulation and the dark thoughts chasing themselves around in Sarah Jane's mind. 

Tom had been a relief, a harbor in a storm. Jo is the sun finally coming out of the clouds. 

“Wow! It's a long time since I've been called that. Actually, it's Jo Jones since I got married,” Jo explains, and Sarah Jane grins even as Tom chuckles, probably making the same connection she's made in her mind. 

Smith and Jones. The Doctor certainly can't do without them. 

“I arrived just after you left. You'd gone to live on the Amazon,” Sarah Jane explains, and this time, it's Jo's eyes which light up in recognition. 

“They told me about you! You must be Sarah Jane Smith,” she exclaims, and Sarah Jane smiles widely, feeling warm inside once more at the recognition, and standing up to shake Jo's hand – but Jo bypasses it and hugs her instead, kissing her cheek before pulling back to look at her properly. “Oh, darling. After all this time. And look at you. You're so beautiful!” she compliments, and Sarah Jane feels herself reddening, even before Jo looks at Tom, Clyde and Rani without ever losing her smile. “And you have such a gorgeous family too!” 

“Oh, no, no!” 

“We're not—!” 

“Sorry, ma'am, we're really—” 

“We aren't—” 

“With respect, the cradle will continue,” the Shansheeth with the harp interrupts as the four of them babble all at once, and feeling like a chastised school kid again, Sarah Jane takes Jo to sit with her and Tom while Clyde and Rani decide to go chat with Jo's teen companion, who looks a bit confused but mostly amused and suffering from second-hand embarrassment. 

“Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to imply—” Jo apologizes, more softly once again, but Tom chuckles, the sound putting a smile on Sarah Jane's face once more. 

“It's alright. I'd be honored to be Sarah Jane's family, really. But I'm actually not even part of all this,” he explains, gesturing at the chapel, before giving them an almost sheepish grin. “My wife was one of the Doctor's companions. I haven't met him at all. Well… I never had the chance to meet him,” he corrects himself, grimacing and sparing a look at the coffin, and Sarah Jane's mood falls once more. 

That's right. It's the Doctor's funeral, not a meetup of old companions of the Doctor. 

Oh, if only… 

“I'm sure he would have loved to meet you. Maybe not with those words, he was quite a straightforward man, but if you can make one of his companions happy enough that she married you, he would have loved you too,” Jo consoles Tom, patting his hand, and just like that, Sarah Jane finds herself smiling once more. 

It's no wonder the Doctor chose Jo as his companion. She's a walking ray of sunlight. 

“Thank you. That means a lot to me. I'm Tom Milligan. It's a pleasure,” he introduces himself, grinning, and the expression only grows when Jo tugs him closer to give him a peck on the cheek as well. 

He's just as charmed as Sarah Jane, obviously. And, really, who wouldn't? 

Sarah Jane heard the stories, from both UNIT and the Doctor, but the real Jo leaves them all in the shadows. 

“How did you recognize me?” Jo asks curiously, and when Sarah Jane tells her it's from the stories at UNIT, the conversation somehow devolves into a chat about their families. 

Sarah Jane tells them about Luke, Tom talks about Martha, and Jo cheerfully informs them that she has seven children and twelve grandchildren, including the teen accompanying her, Santiago, with a thirteenth on the way. 

“I love children, but I don't think I could ever take care of that many,” Tom confesses, startled and awed at once, and Sarah Jane can't help but grin. 

“Oh, that's because you've never tried to deal with a teenager and his two nosy friends on your own. You just wait,” she warns him teasingly, despite knowing she has no room to talk. 

After all, she adopted Luke after he was 'born', true, but he'd been born a teenager, so she doesn't have room to talk. 

“There was never a dad?” Jo asks curiously, and Sarah Jane shakes her head, making her smile. “Oh, playing the field. Good on you, girl.” 

Sarah Jane feels like she should laugh or be embarrassed at that comment, but… She thinks about the reason there was never anyone, and she can only look at the coffin again and cling to old remembered memories and that farewell in Aberdeen, Scotland. 

“Not exactly, but…” she tries to answer, before shaking her head clear of the memories to focus on the present, trying not to break down again. “The Doctor, he showed me such a remarkable life, and when he went, it just took me a long while to get over it.” 

“Me, too,” Jo hums, following her gaze but still smiling, if sadly this time, because, out of everyone in this room, she _does_ know. “You know, sometimes I think I've never stopped running.” 

“When he came back, I finally realized the life I wanted was right under my nose all that time,” Sarah Jane finishes, remembering Deffry Vale School. 

“Who? Who came back? The Doctor? Recently?” Jo asks, and Sarah Jane startles before she realizes what she's being asked. 

“About four years ago. But the first time we met it was just a coincidence, we were both investigating the same case. He's been around a few more times, that's how he met Martha and the others,” she explains, nodding to Tom, who nods too when Jo turns to him. 

“But – the first time? You mean it was more than once?” she asks, and her smile is nowhere to be seen this time. 

Oh. _Oh._ Sarah Jane remembers that pang of pain, of betrayal, she'd felt when she'd found the TARDIS in Deffry Vale School and turned around to see 'new teacher John Smith', and she feels so sorry for opening her mouth. 

So, instead, she just nods. 

Jo takes a moment, looking down and breathing, and then turning to the coffin, before facing Sarah Jane again— 

And Jo smiles. 

“He must have really liked you,” she whispers, cupping her cheek with a warm hand even as she makes no effort to hide the pang of sadness, _not_ jealousy, from her smile as she drops her hand. “You know, it's funny, but I had this notion that if the Doctor died one day, I mean, even if he was as far away as Metebelis III, that… that I'd feel it, you know. In my heart,” she says, looking at the coffin, and Sarah Jane tenses and holds her breath, _hoping_ against all hope. 

“That's exactly what I thought,” Sarah Jane whispers, attracting her attention once more – and sees the same hope she's feeling in her chest reflected in Jo's eyes. 

“I had a dream, in June. About a sky without stars.” 

And Sarah Jane's hopes are dashed. 

“Martha had the same dream,” Tom comments, startled, and the two women turn to him. “She woke up in the middle of the night, shaking from a nightmare, and rushed to the window. I thought it was about the time the Earth was stolen, but she said it hadn't been a memory. Just… a dream,” he explains with seriousness, examining them to see if they know more than he does, and Sarah Jane can't help but look at the coffin and remember Christmas once more— 

The Shansheeth at the harp sways with his next stroke, and Sarah Jane practically jumps to her feet. 

“Come. This is no place to talk, let's go to our room,” she tells Jo and Tom, and sees their confusion fade in the face of her determination. 

There's something strange going on here, the pieces she was given by the Master on Christmas and the epitaph stone from the Shansheeth don't match. And Sarah Jane Smith will get to the bottom of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit I was debating with myself about having Martha, Mickey, or both, in this chapter. Maybe Tom, if I had the two of them, or if it was going to be just Martha. But I never, for one second, thought about having just Tom there. Why would he be? It didn't make sense.
> 
> And then, suddenly, it _did._ Tom appeared there, to support Sarah Jane, and I realized that he _had_ to be there. I'll say it now - it probably won't make much sense at this time, it will probably _never_ make sense, if something changes down the line. But it does. It will. Hopefully. Timey wimey.


	3. Like the Old Days

The teens are gone to get them some tea and hot water, for Jo's special blend which reminds her of Peladon, and which she's willing to share with Sarah Jane and Tom. 

Clyde looks shifty, uncomfortable now that the excitement of being in a UNIT base has worn off, but Rani keeps her cool and includes Santiago, Jo's grandson, in their chatter, so Sarah Jane is not worried. 

What she is, is _tickled._

 _Something_ doesn't add up here, even if that mention of everyone sharing her dream back on June makes her stomach twist. She's mostly sure the Master wasn't lying on Christmas, which means _this_ is not the Doctor's actual funeral, because the universe would know the Master is still around, but the Shansheeth didn't even mention him. 

So, they need to find out who's lying. 

“Sarah Jane? Is there something going on?” Tom asks a bit after the teens leave, to make sure they're out of hearing range probably, and staring at her with a look Sarah Jane suspects he gives Martha every now and then. 

“I had the same dream,” she confesses, and Jo's face falls. “But I'm sure the Doctor is not dead. Not now, I mean. Not for this funeral,” she adds, and her two companions perk up. 

“How? Did he visit you again? Did he say anything in his last visit?” 

“I didn't hear anything from Martha and Mickey,” Tom adds, and Sarah Jane hesitates. 

Harold Saxon is still too fresh in everyone's minds, especially in Martha's. And Jo actually dealt with the Master, when he first came to Earth to bother the Doctor in his exile. 

Is it wise to mention her suspicions are because _he_ came to deliver the Doctor's goodbye? 

… But she _can't_ not do it. Maybe their eyes will be able to see something she didn't, the piece she needs to figure it all out. 

“After the incident of last Christmas, someone came to deliver the Doctor's goodbye. He said… He said the Doctor left notes for his companions, and then he took the TARDIS and left. And when I had that dream in June, I realized that the Doctor _had_ died, and that I got the warning in advance,” she explains, and Tom and Jo exchange a startled look. 

“But how? We only received the communicate from UNIT. When did the Shansheeth find the Doctor?” Jo asks, and Sarah Jane thinks _this is it._

She takes a breath, steeling herself, and opens her mouth. 

“It wasn't the Shansheeth. It was a man wearing the face of Harold Saxon.” 

Jo frowns, startled and confused, but Tom jerks in surprise, obviously knowing there's more to that statement. 

“But Martha said Saxon got shot and died! She said he was an alien, the most horrible person she'd ever met, who only wanted to make the Doctor suffer. Why would _he_ come to tell you the Doctor died?” he asks, more than a little lost, and Jo turns to her with expectation. 

Well. All or nothing, and Sarah Jane is in too deep now to go for nothing. 

“Because he wasn't just another alien. He was a Time Lord like the Doctor. His name is the Master.” 

This time, Jo is the one to gasp at her words, while Tom scrunches his nose almost in distaste. 

“The Master? Oh, they always did have the strangest relationship. Did you know, when the Master first came to Earth and tried to kill everyone with the Nestene, this plastic lifeform, the Doctor was actually happy?” she tells them, and Sarah Jane blinks because, no, she had known the facts, but not _that._ “He was. He had tricked the Master into taking a broken piece of his TARDIS instead of the good one he'd taken from the Master's TARDIS, so he was stuck on Earth too. And while everyone else was worried about having an evil Time Lord to deal with, the Doctor laughed. And you know what he said? _I'm rather looking forward to the Master turning up again._ Like he finally had a friend to play with!” 

“That doesn't sound like the Doctor,” Tom muses, frowning in confusion, but Sarah Jane smiles. 

“It actually does. Did he ever tell you, about him being best friends with the Master when they were young?” she asks Jo, who grins widely once more. 

“Oh, he did! Not much, mind you, he didn't like talking about the past. But we did get some things out of him. Do you think that's why the Master did it? Are you sure it wasn't a trap, or that he tried to hypnotize you?” Jo asks more seriously, but Sarah Jane assuages her with a smile. 

“I'm not easy to hypnotize. And… when I first met the Doctor again, he said that the Time Lords were gone, and that he was the last. If… If the Doctor and the Master really were the last of the Time Lords, and the Doctor died…” 

“Do you think that would have been enough for the Master to change?” Tom asks in disbelief, and Sarah Jane's hopes fall when she sees Jo is as skeptical as he is. 

They don't believe her. They weren't there, they didn't see the Master, and they _do_ have good reasons to mistrust him. But when the Doctor's life hangs on the inconsistencies between the Shansheeth's and the Master's tales, Sarah Jane can't _not_ believe him. For the Doctor's sake. 

“I do,” she answers softly, meeting their eyes. 

After a moment of hesitation, Jo smiles again, softer, not cheerful but understanding instead. 

“Well, then I say we try to figure out how to save the Doctor. I can't say I believe the Master, I saw him try to kill the Doctor too many times; but I want to believe the Doctor isn't really dead. He might die someday, everyone does, but that doesn't have to be today, isn't that right?” 

And _that_ puts a smile on everyone's face again. Jo's right. Regardless of whether they believe the Master, they have to believe in the Doctor, and in themselves. 

Whatever's going on here, they can figure it out. 

The harps from the chapel start playing again, the sound echoing in the room through the air vents or something, and Sarah Jane's smile softens. 

Their discussion is pushed aside in favor of old memories, as they share their adventures together and with Tom, getting comfortable. 

Yes, they have to believe in the Doctor. He has always come through, and he won't stop doing it just because some people say he's dead. _That_ has never stopped him before. 

Sarah Jane jerks her head, startling herself back into wakefulness, and that's when she realizes Tom and Jo are also asleep where they sat. 

_What the…?_

“Tom, Jo, wake up. Wake up!” she hisses, shaking their shoulders, and they startle into wakefulness as confused as she was. 

“Did we fall asleep?” Tom asks, stretching with a grimace as his back pops, while Jo looks around. 

“Santiago? Oh, dear, did they get lost? How can they not be back if we fell asleep?” 

And Sarah Jane and Jo exchange a look as soon as the words are out, and rush to the door. 

“Rani? Clyde?” Sarah Jane calls, but the corridor is absolutely empty. 

“Where is everyone?” Jo asks as Tom follows, shouldering a small messenger bag with a frown. 

“They said they would lock the funeral wing so the rest of the base could keep working normally. I assumed there would still be people around, though.” 

“I think there's something wrong,” Sarah Jane points out, and Tom nods with a grimace. 

“Wrong? As in you mean just like the old days sort of wrong?” Jo asks, and Sarah Jane meets her eyes, completely serious. 

“Exactly like the old days.” 

Jo grins and Sarah Jane smiles back. 

“Groovy!” 

“Yes!” 

Tom huffs, muttering something like _bad influence_ under his breath, but he follows when they rush down the corridor in search of the teens. 

Fortunately, they don't have to go far to find them running down a corridor, clearly looking for something. 

If Sarah Jane wasn't so relieved at finding them safe and sound, she'd be amused at their initiative. 

“There you are!” she calls, and the three of them immediately turn around, worry and anger in their faces. 

“Sarah Jane, it's the Shansheeth! They're lying through their beaks. They want you and Jo. This whole thing's a trap,” Clyde informs them quickly, and despite the danger, Sarah Jane can't help but smile. 

“I knew it!” 

“Hold on. If they're lying, that means the Doctor's still alive. Yes!” Jo cheers, turning to Tom to give him a high five before she whirls to Sarah Jane for another one. 

“Oh, of _course_ I'm still alive, Jo Grant. Did you seriously think I'd die to _undertakers,_ after everything we've been through?” Clyde scoffs with an expression that is most definitely _not_ Clyde's, going so far as to roll his eyes, and everyone else stills in shock. 

“I beg your pardon?” Jo asks, flabbergasted at the outburst to the point of losing her smile, while Sarah Jane tries to hold back the hope threatening to burst out of her chest. 

“Clyde, is that you?” she asks, because she _must_ ask, what if Clyde has been taken over by something dangerous or infected by a mood-modifying alien bacterium or something of the like. 

Clyde scoffs. 

“Really, Sarah? It's _me._ I've keyed into Clyde's residual artron energy and I'm using him as a receiver. I'm actually ten thousand light years away and I needed a living anchor for a biological swap, and he's the one with the strongest and most recent signature. Don't worry, it won't hurt him. Much,” not-Clyde explains with a too confident grin that is not Clyde's but it's too familiar all the same – before it turns to wide-eyed realization. “Ah, and I've, uh, you know, new face, let me explain before you grab the pitchforks, alright?” he adds with a sheepish grin – before Clyde gets zapped by blue energy, _artron_ energy, with a grunt. 

Sarah Jane reaches for him, but finds herself frozen in place when Clyde, with a very much Clyde-like expression of worry tinted with shock, looks at her. 

Though it isn't his face that has her attention. 

“That wasn't me,” Clyde whispers, the _real_ Clyde, and Sarah Jane really tries to look at his face, but her brain is too busy processing what she's seeing, and the words not-Clyde spoke, to actually do it. “That wasn't me speaking. I'm getting—” he starts, lifting a hand to his aching head and finally realizing why everyone else is staring at him in shock still. “That's not my hand, because my hand's not white,” he manages to say, staring at his left hand that is not only the wrong skin color, but also the wrong _size._

Another wave of artron energy washes over Clyde before Sarah Jane can process what's happening, and he starts to flicker even as he contorts in pain, pale skin to dark skin to pale skin and dark hair to pale hair to dark hair and— 

“Sorry – Clyde. I'll – fetch – you – later!” the shifting person Clyde is alternating into says with Clyde's voice and their own with each shift and flick – and stops. 

In Clyde's place now stands an adult white man, with short blond hair and stubble on his jaw, clad in a mid-thigh black coat with a pale underside, blue jeans, dark mid-calf boots, and a gray shirt that reads _Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice_ in black all caps letters. 

“Ugh, that was different,” he huffs, cracking his neck and rolling his shoulders, before finally relaxing and looking at them. 

His eyes are a clear and bright amber-green mix that is hard to tell where one ends and the other begins, and lighted up with cheer and relief when they meet Sarah Jane's. Despite how different they are from the last time she saw them, dark and murky and full of sorrow, she recognizes them. 

Clearly, if the fact he added the pitchfork comment is any indication, he remembers her too. 

“Hello, everyone.” 

“Doctor?” Sarah Jane asks in the shocked silence, and he turns to her with his grin widening into something almost proud. 

“The one and only,” he answers, spreading his arms in show. 

Sarah Jane has half a mind to slap him, but the way he cringes when she lifts her hand has her point accusingly at his 'new face' instead. 

“You told me you were dead!” she accuses, stepping threateningly up to him, and he immediately lifts his hands as if that would stop her, shuffling back with his shoulders up to his ears. 

“I never actually said—” 

“You made me think you were the Master and that the Doctor was dead!” 

“Well, yes, I did, but—” 

“And now you're here, with Saxon's face, saying you're the Doctor, and Clyde's gone! What have you done with Clyde?” she asks, only realizing when the words come out of her mouth that, oh, right, Clyde disappeared to leave this _man_ in his place. 

“Breathe, Sarah Jane Smith. Clyde and I swapped places. He's in a very empty and remote place, but he isn't in any immediate danger, and I plan to get him back before he can get in trouble. Promise,” he assures her, and his eyes, fully green now, are just as trustworthy and reassuring as the last Doctor's brown ones. 

“Are you really the Doctor?” someone whispers, and only when the man smiles softly at her does Sarah Jane realize she was the one to speak. 

“I'm really the Doctor. Hello, Sarah Jane.” 

“That's the Doctor?” Rani questions, incredulously, before Sarah Jane can separate the mix of relief, joy, exasperation and that stubborn hint of betrayal that she's feeling, and so she decides to push it all down to deal with later, when they're not in trouble. 

“What Doctor? The Doctor? My Doctor? But you said Saxon was the Master!” Jo exclaims, wide-eyed, and Sarah Jane realizes she doesn't know about regeneration. 

“Yeah, well, he can change his face,” she explains as simply as she can, feeling like she's twenty again. 

“But into the Master's?” Jo asks, directing her question at the Doctor this time, and Sarah Jane turns to him too, intrigued. 

He grimaces with half a shrug, but Sarah Jane recognizes the darkness in his eyes from that godawful Christmas visit. 

Grief. 

“Not all of us can choose a face as beautiful as yours, Jo Jones. You look no older than 22,” he sweettalks after a moment, but his smile, despite his face, is nothing like Saxon's winning grins back during his campaign. 

This grin is amused and real, with that hint of mischief that got them into the most amazing adventures. 

The Doctor's grin. 

Sarah Jane's sure Jo is about to ask something else, despite the smile making her lips twitch, or that Tom is going to put words to his disbelief and suspicion, but the sound of claws clacking on the ground interrupt the bizarre reunion and make everyone turn to the end of the corridor. 

Three Shansheeth approach them without hesitation, practically _marching_ to them, and Sarah Jane can't help the flash of hope as the Doctor slips past the group to walk up to the alien vultures with a scowl that looks more like a sneer. 

“Ah, you lot again. The Claw Shansheeth of the 15th Funeral Fleet. I've been looking for you. Have you been telling people I'm dead?” 

The Shansheeth stop, necks straightening, and the lead one bows his head almost as if in apology. 

“I apologize. The death notice was released a little too soon. Though I can rectify this, _immediately,”_ he answers extending a clawed hand— 

Red electricity bursts out of his claws, striking the Doctor and rushing all over him even as he stiffens with a sharp inhale. 

“Doctor!” Sarah Jane shouts, trying to reach for him, but Tom grabs her before she can move, holding her back as the Doctor falls to his knees, fists clenched at his sides— 

“I'm so sorry for your loss, Doctor. Rest in peace,” the Shansheeth mocks, stepping closer— 

And with a flash of light, the red electricity cuts to leave Clyde in the Doctor's place. 

The Shansheeth straighten once more, exchanging wide-eyed looks. 

Clyde stares up at them. 

Sarah Jane takes in a breath, thinking _the Doctor is gone **again.**_

And then Clyde shuffles around, meeting their eyes, and opens his mouth. 

“But – I was on a planet!” he exclaims, startled, and whatever was filling Sarah Jane's head and stopping her thoughts _snaps._

“Never mind that. Run!” she orders, and Clyde immediately rushes to his feet and follows as they run down the corridor, while the Shansheeth are still trying to get over their shock and croak to each other. 

They turn a couple corners, trying to return to the room, and when Sarah Jane finds a metal door and stops to close it behind them to try and slow the Shansheeth, it isn't Clyde the last one to rush through, but the Doctor. 

“What are you doing? Come along, Smith!” he exclaims, helping her close the door and grabbing her by the hand as they rush to catch up to the others. “In, in, in!” he orders when he sees the group waiting at the threshold of their room, ushering them inside, but Sarah Jane catches a glimpse of Karim approaching them calmly from the other side of the corridor. 

“I'm sorry, is there a—” she hears her start, though the moment the Doctor turns to her, Karim's words cut with a sharp inhale. 

“Problem? Why, yes. I'd like to complain about the infestation of traitors in your facility,” he chirps cheerily, grinning almost too sharply – and slams the door in Karim's face, turning the lock almost faster than Sarah Jane can catch. “Now, not to be a party-pooper or anything, but it's lights out and the doors need to be locked. Sonic lipstick?” he asks, still with that large grin but with mischief in it now, and Sarah Jane finds herself pulling her sonic lipstick out before her brain catches up with the words. 

“Haven't you got the screwdriver?” she asks the Doctor, who's holding the door closed with his shoulder while Sarah Jane secures the lock with her lipstick. 

“The Shansheeth took it. Vultures, the lot of them,” he huffs, finally pushing away from the door, and Sarah Jane can't help her snort or the way she mock-punches his arm to punish him for the comment. “Oi! Not my fault they behave like that!” he laughs, calmer now that the door is secured, and Sarah Jane shakes her head, though not for the reason he might think. 

How could she _ever_ believe this man was the Master? He's mischief, adventure, cheek and cheer and cool hand around hers to make sure she doesn't get left behind. He's _the Doctor._

So, that begs the question. _Why_ did he try to pass as the Master? _Why_ did he tell her the Doctor was dead? And _what_ was that collective dream of an empty sky in June? 

“They do sonic lipsticks now,” Jo comments, so shocked about everything else, or so used to it, that she focuses on Sarah Jane's lipstick with an awed smile. 

“I don't even know where to begin,” Tom adds, rubbing his forehead with what is _clearly_ a headache brought about by recent events. 

The Doctor has that impression on people, unfortunately, but Sarah Jane wouldn't change it for the world. 

“Tell you later, we're running out of time. I need you two, Sarah and Jo,” the Doctor tells them, smile giving way to a serious and focused expression, offering them his hands. 

“Need us for what?” Jo asks, but just like Sarah Jane, she takes the offered hand, and the Doctor grins at them, green eyes bright with that spark of adventure, certainty, and a dash of mischief that is simply _the Doctor._

“For a trip, of course! Tom, you're in charge, but absolutely _no_ self-sacrificing involved this time!” he answers, giving Tom a serious look. 

Before anyone can process those last words, the Doctor, Sarah Jane and Jo vanish.


	4. Pizza with Groske

When Tom met Martha Jones, he never thought he'd end up falling in love with her, discovering aliens were real and her fiancé had traveled across time and space with one. Of course, he didn't think he'd be planet-napped by hostile aliens either, but it happened. 

It had been a shock, true, when day had suddenly turned to night and, instead of the moon, a myriad of planets and unknown constellations hovered over them, but seeing the peppershaker robots had been even more terrifying. Tom had been… well, he and Martha had given themselves some time after the ATMOS thing and her revelation that _aliens_ were a thing and _how_ she'd learnt about those. 

So, he hadn't been at home, he'd been at the hospital and thinking it was time to maybe talk things out with Martha again because his sister's house _really_ was too small for him and her family. And then, _poof!_ Day turns to night and it turns out it isn't even their regular night. 

As soon as the so-called Daleks had appeared and started demanding obeisance, Tom had made sure to secure his patients and left to barricade the hospital. The children were in the radiology rooms, the most mobile patients made their way to the basement, but there were _so many_ who couldn't be moved… A group of people, patients, personnel and visitors alike had tried to barricade the building, to hold the Daleks back with anything they had at hand. One of the visitors had had the _great_ idea of turning all ultrasound machinery on to try and mask heartbeats or confuse the robotic creatures, and Tom's sure they wouldn't have been able to save as many people as they did without that quick thinking. Tom himself would've died, if the man hadn't shielded him with his body, when the Daleks finally made it in. He'd seen the ring Tom still wore on his hand, he said with a pained smile, and he wasn't about to leave someone suffering from heartbreak if he could stop it. 

Tom really hopes there's a Heaven up there. That man really deserved it. 

His sacrifice wouldn't have saved them, but at that moment, _Martha_ did. Whatever she did in the Daleks' mothership, her and Sarah Jane and the Doctor and all the others, it had sent the Daleks zooming back to their ship, finally leaving the hospital alone. 

And when it all finally ended, when the sun and the moon returned to their rightful places and the panicked chaos had finally died down, Martha had shown up at the hospital with an unknown man who'd introduced himself as Mickey Smith, worried sick because Tom had his phone in his locker and hadn't answered her calls. 

Tom had hugged her tightly to his chest and barely held himself back from kissing her, unsure if, with their current 'off' relationship, she would accept it – and Martha had kissed him instead, dispelling any and all doubts. 

And when Martha and Mickey had sat him down and told him everything about the Earth's planet-napping and their adventures with the Doctor, Tom had listened and _believed_ them. He had almost died at the merciless hands – uh, _gun,_ of an armored alien. He would _never_ doubt Martha again. 

And then they got married, and, surprisingly enough, it was as perfect as Tom had imagined, aliens or not. 

Of course, that was _before_ he got mixed up with the Doctor himself. Now, this? This is _a mess._

“How did Martha do this?” he asks himself, once Clyde finally gets over his space-sickness, but Rani and Santiago are too distracted by Colonel Karim banging on their door to notice his words. 

“Miss Smith! Mrs. Jones! Please open the door! Saxon, release them or I'll be forced to take action!” she orders, clearly incensed, and the teenagers exchange conflicted looks. 

“Isn't she on our side? She doesn't know the Doctor has Saxon's face, but neither did Gran…” Santiago asks Rani, but the girl seems as lost as he is. 

“The Doctor did say there was an infestation of traitors in the base. And when she came to Sarah Jane's home, she said UNIT had tested the 'Doctor' to match the DNA, but he's still alive,” Rani points out, and Tom nods as he helps Clyde to his feet. 

“She's in league with the Shansheeth,” he summarizes, and all three teenagers turn to him, awaiting a solution. 

How can he do this? Despite the age difference, both Rani and Clyde have far more experience in situations like this, involving aliens, than Tom does. And yet, the Doctor explicitly said Tom was in charge. With a condition. No self-sacrifices allowed. _This time._ Has the Doctor dealt with a lot of self-sacrificing people? And how did he know Tom? Has he been keeping tabs on Martha? 

_No, think about that later. Your kids are in danger. Evacuate._

He takes out his mobile phone despite not holding hope that it'll work, and so he just pockets it back without the slightest bit of surprise when he sees there's no signal. So, he takes a quick look around, and his eyes land on a wall computer. 

“How good are you three with these?” he asks the teens, gesturing to the computer, and Rani steps up with determination even as the boys hesitate. 

“What are you planning to do with that? We can't hack _UNIT,”_ Clyde hisses, wide-eyed, as Rani gets to work. 

“Maybe not, but if I can – oh, they blocked communications…” she huffs, tapping on the screen, before a map pops up, making the rest of them crowd around her. “Here. We're slap-bang in the middle of the base. There's got to be a way to call for help,” she comments, looking up at Tom, who nods. 

“We just need to find a way to deal with Karim and—” he starts, memorizing the path to the hangar and hoping there's people unaffiliated with Karim and the Shansheeth there, before he gets interrupted by a klaxon and the map turning red. “No! She sealed off the entire funeral wing, didn't she?” he hisses, and Rani's grimace is answer enough— 

The ventilation grate on the wall falls with a loud clang, making them all jump even as Tom rushes to the front to shield the teens— 

It's another alien, it _has_ to be. Short, blue, with some kind of tentacles growing from where its ears should be and the top of its head, and a flat face. Tom hopes the size difference will give him an advantage, because if they can neutralize this new alien, maybe they can use the ventilation system to get out— 

“Hurry. Follow me!” the alien orders, beckoning them with a hand, and Tom blinks in surprise. 

Is it on their side? 

Apparently, Rani and Clyde think so, because they don't hesitate to turn to Tom and smile hopefully. 

“Why should we trust you?” Tom asks instead of following blindly, because the Doctor, the alien time traveler he's heard so much about, trusts him to keep the teens safe, and Tom won't take any chances. 

“Shansheeth scary. Plan too dangerous,” it answers, and after another look at the screen with the red corridors, Tom decides that this is a chance he _has_ to take. 

Here, they are trapped. In the ventilation shafts, they have a chance to break away from this alien and try to find a different exit. So, Tom takes a deep breath, nods, and when the alien goes into the shaft, he's the first to follow. 

They scurry through the vents as fast and quiet as they can, and soon enough, the alien—Groske, according to Clyde's mutterings—pushes off a grate and hops into a small room. Maintenance, probably. 

Relieved, Tom somehow manages to twist enough to put his feet on the ground and exit the vent – and stops in shock. 

“Where are we? There's no exit here!” he protests, looking around at the Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling and the round vent covers on concrete walls, even as the teens carefully leave the vent at his back. 

“We hide. Shansheeth too scary,” Groske tells Tom, grabbing a – is that a pizza box? “Pizza good.” 

Well. Tom has seen _a lot_ of strange things today, but this one has to be the strangest of the lot. 

“What? No, we have to do something!” Clyde protests, taking the pizza box out of Groske's hands when he offers it, but Tom puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him from doing anything too drastic. 

“No, we don't,” he answers, and while Clyde looks mutinous, Rani and Santiago look up at him in confusion. “The Doctor is out there with Sarah Jane and Jo, both of whom have more than enough experience with these situations. And _you,_ Clyde, are the Doctor's anchor to Earth, and consequently, Jo's and Sarah Jane's as well. Keeping you safe will help them come back, hopefully without the Doctor disappearing on us again,” he explains, and though all three are understanding, Clyde still frowns in frustration. 

“Pizza go cold,” Groske interrupts, pointing at the box still in Clyde's hands, and Tom grins and sits down against a wall. 

“Better do something about that, then. And don't worry. As long as _we_ keep out of the Shansheeth's hands, we're helping,” he repeats, and gestures for the pizza box while the teens try to relax and sit down too. 

“I don't know about that. The Doctor had this weird contraption in the planet I got zapped to, and it kept making this noise, like a countdown. But now, I'm still here and he's still there, so there's got to be something wrong with it!” Clyde protests, not taking a slice of the pepperoni pizza – though, other than Tom, none of the others do either. 

He wonders if they may be allergic or vegetarian, but Clyde's concerns immediately wipe those thoughts away. 

“Or maybe, now that he has Sarah Jane's sonic lipstick and Jo's expertise, he's trying to fix the machine so it doesn't send you back to the planet the next time he tries to come to Earth,” Tom points out, and he can see how much Clyde wants to believe him when their eyes meet. “Look, I have absolutely no idea how this works. Aliens, chases, space travel… I'm a pediatrician. My wife is the one with the alien expertise. But everything I've heard about the Doctor, from her, Mickey, Sarah Jane and their other friends, tells me that we need to believe in him. The Doctor knows how to fix things, how to make the impossible happen. So, I'm going to do that, and keep you all safe like he entrusted me to.” 

Rani and Clyde exchange a look, but relax at last. It seems they've heard the same stories Tom has too. 

“I still can't believe you get to do this all the time,” Santiago comments, grinning, and that sends the teens into reminiscence, talking about the excuses they give their parents for all the amazing things they actually do with Sarah Jane. 

Tom decides to leave them to it, even if he's curious about their experiences, in favor of pondering about their situation. 

The Doctor was supposed to be dead, but it turned out to be a farce the Shansheeth orchestrated to get their claws on Sarah Jane and Jo. The Doctor changed his face into the Saxon-lookalike they have just met, which, apparently, is not a big deal when it comes to the Doctor, even if the fact he looks so much like Saxon _is._

Martha didn't tell him _everything_ about the Year that Never Was, neither her nor Captain Harkness did, but Tom knows enough to know the real Saxon, the so-called Master, was _trouble._

So, that begs the question – _why_ did the Doctor take Saxon's face? Tom can extrapolate from other things he knows about the Doctor, and try and guess it was to hide from his enemies. 

Martha told him that the Doctor did it once, hiding them in 1913 with himself as a human, to avoid the Family of Blood, who were trying to take the Doctor's life to become immortal. Maybe the Doctor did it again, only instead of turning himself human, he decided to tell everyone who might spread the word that the Doctor was dead, using his new Saxon face. 

And now, with the Shansheeth spreading the lie, he comes back and tries to stop them? Maybe he has already dealt with whatever enemy forced him to spread that misconception around. 

Maybe Tom is trying to see too much in the actions of someone he's only ever heard about. 

Also, there's the matter of Colonel Karim being involved in the Shansheeth's plan. What is her role there? What are their true intentions? Gathering the Doctor's companions is a recipe for disaster, especially if they're lying and intend to get something out of them. Wouldn't it be easier to hunt them down one by one? 

Tom shudders at the thought, checking his phone again to make sure he really has no reception. 

Martha is undercover, that's why he can't contact her… It _has_ to be. She wasn't going on an undercover mission, but she had to lay low, so he and Mickey assumed she had been forced into deeper cover once the situation had been properly assessed… But what if they're wrong? 

What if the Shansheeth _did_ get Martha, and Captain Harkness, and somehow had Mickey neutralized? What if they are doing the funeral only now that they have taken out the younger and better prepared of the Doctor's companions? Not that Sarah Jane and Jo are in any way worse than Martha and the others, but Martha and Mickey are active UNIT and Captain Harkness is Torchwood's leader. They have fighting training, equipment, backup— 

Sarah Jane has three teens, one of which is off to college. And Jo only has one grandson, untrained and as unused to alien lifeforms as Tom is. 

If the Shansheeth did _anything_ to Martha— 

A metal curtain shuts off the vent they came in through, their _only_ exit, and Tom pushes his worry for Martha as far back as he can, clambering to his feet. 

“What was that?” 

“Trapped!” Groske exclaims, dropping his pizza and jumping to his feet as well, while Tom pushes past the teens to try and see how thick the metal curtain is and if there are any holes or other weak spots. “Heating. Hot, hot, hot,” he adds, and Tom turns around to see him staring into the round vents— 

_The round vents!_

They're metallic and tightly sealed, as Tom notices when he kneels in front of one of them. And, just as Groske said, there's hot air coming through them. 

But that's their only exit with the main vent blocked. Even if Tom is not sure his shoulders can make it through. 

… He has to get the children out of here. 

“Which of these two will get us out of here sooner?” he asks Groske, pointing at the two vents, one across the other, and the alien takes a moment to look between one and the other before pointing to the left one. “Can you open it?” 

“No. We die like rotisserie.” 

“Not if I can help it,” Tom hisses, turning to the left vent to see how well-sealed it is. 

… Too well-sealed, it seems… 

But Tom's a Doctor Without Borders. That means that while he may not have alien experience, or even the kind of world-trotter experience Jo and Santiago have, he knows how to improvise. 

He takes his keys out of his pocket and tries to lodge them in-between the vent and the wall, but when that doesn't work, he looks around – and sees the grate they came through hanging from the wall on well-oiled hinges. 

Using his key, he manages to unscrew the metallic vent, and using the small space as best as he can, Tom hefts it up and slams its side into the round vent as hard as he can. Again. Again. _Again—_

The round vent crashes to the ground with a deafening clang, and the teens shout in both surprise and relief. 

“In, everyone!” Tom orders, and Groske is the first to follow his instructions, squeezing into the vent with a bit of difficulty due to his wide frame, but moving quickly once he's inside. 

“Isn't it a bit tiny?” Clyde comments with trepidation as they watch Rani shuffle into it, but Tom grabs his shoulder and pushes him forward gently. 

“Better a tight squeeze than death by overheating,” he tells Clyde, though he can barely hide his grimace as he thinks of the problem it'll be if any of them gets stuck. “Come on, Doctor, now would be a good time,” he hisses as Santiago gets inside with a bit of difficulty. 

When it's Tom's turn, the Doctor hasn't yet answered to his pleas, so he steels himself, stretches his arms in front of himself as much as he can, and squeezes through. 

Clyde is cursing at the front, Groske is cheering them on in his strangely blunt manner, and Santiago moves more like a fish or a snake than an actual human, but by some strange miracle, they all make it out – just in time for Tom to get stuck. 

If he gets out of this experience _without_ claustrophobia, he'll be _extremely_ surprised. 

Luckily, the teens are too worried about the Shansheeth to make fun of him, working together to get him unstuck by pulling on his arms. Tom tries not to curse _them,_ it's no fault of theirs that he's in this predicament, but he'll _definitely_ need _at least_ a massage to get rid of the pain on his shoulders from this misadventure. 

Hopefully, it doesn't last as long as it seems for Tom, and soon enough, they're all standing in the corridor, sweaty and breathing hard and sore and feeling almost too cold after the heat in the vents… but alive and free. 

“Look out!” Santiago exclaims, pointing at the end of the corridor and the Shansheeth that just rounded the corner, and Tom pushes them to the other end— 

—and a second Shansheeth blocks their way. 

“Oh, great. Out of the pan, into the fire,” Rani huffs at his back, and Tom looks around frantically in search for a way out that it just isn't there. 

They can't go back into the vents; they wouldn't be fast enough to get in and the heat would get to them soon once back inside. They could try to overpower one Shansheeth, but as they saw with the Doctor, they can produce electricity, and Tom doesn't want to know if the effects are the same on a human than on whatever alien the Doctor is. And even if they could deal with one, there's a second Shansheeth to come to the first's rescue, and a third waiting who knows where. 

So, Tom presses the kids against the wall and stands in front of them, trying to keep both Shansheeth in sight and forcing his mind to find a solution to this mess. 

“Wait! We don't know the Doctor, or anything to do with him. Whatever you want, we can't help you! Please, let the children go,” he pleads, hoping against all hope that these alien 'undertakers' have at least a shred of decency under their vulturesque visage. 

Clyde protests against being called a child, but the Shansheeth on the left speaks at the same time, and Tom focuses more on the alien. 

“The children are irrelevant.” 

And Tom's heart falls to his feet. 

The Shansheeth step closer, lift their claws—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, I was _very_ tempted to call this chapter _You had ONE job, Tom._
> 
> About the tiny room and their escape: That place makes _no sense._ If you've seen the episode and have any better ideas about what the Groske's hideout is supposed to be, I'll be grateful if you let me know, because I can't make head or tails about that place. Unless the Groske built the whole base and added it for themselves - in which case, _why_ would they put heat vents pouring _into_ the room?
> 
> So, I thought it was more of a 'maintenance nook', someplace where different systems opened up into so that maintenance could more easily take care of them. And even then, I'm not happy about that explanation. The shutters are easy enough to explain, as extra security, and so the whole 'wing' or 'section' of the base could be fully locked, ventilation included. But there's _no way_ all the heat of the base would let out there. Thus, they are more vents, just of a different kind, and just like the other vents, they connect to rooms and corridors. Ergo, a tight squeeze of an escape, but an escape nonetheless.
> 
> Also, why would that tiny place have _lighting?_ One look at the map in Karim's screen is enough to know it _makes. No. Sense._
> 
> (Yes, I have feelings about the room, how did you know?)


	5. The Doctor's Turn

Sarah Jane gasps as the world reappears around her, and immediately realizes it was a mistake as she inhales some of the red dust that is _everywhere._

Red ground, red sky, red clouds. If this is the Crimson Heart the Shansheeth mentioned, Sarah Jane thinks she understands. Unless, of course, they lied about that too. 

By the time she gets her breath back, the Doctor's messing with a strange white and blue contraption in front of them, which seems to have been assembled with spare parts. 

Jo smiles widely, looking at the three large moons on the horizon, and Sarah Jane can't help but mirror her expression, despite the danger they're all in. 

“It's so many years since I was on another planet,” Jo whispers, and Sarah Jane can't help but answer with a soft _me too._

“Where are we?” she asks the Doctor, who is still focused on the machine. 

“The Wasteland of the Crimson Heart,” he answers, and Sarah Jane takes a moment for a soft _I knew it_ before refocusing when he points at the moons. “Planet Earth's that way, but it's a bit of a long walk. So, let's take a shortcut, shall we?” he asks with a grin, rearranging something in the innards of his machine before waving a hand at Sarah Jane. “Come here, I need you to sonic this for me.” 

She feels a pang of nostalgia as she obeys, despite the ache she feels in her lower back as she kneels at his side and the different face he turns to her. 

The Doctor and Sarah Jane, out on an adventure one more time. 

Oh, she has _missed_ this. 

For a while, they work in silence, with Jo finding them parts and lengths of cable and the Doctor assembling them into the machine and Sarah Jane sonicking them in place. But then, once it has calmed down a bit, with Jo taking a seat on a rock by their side and the Doctor finishing the last touches, Sarah Jane can't help but look at his face and think about Christmas again. 

“Why this face?” she asks softly, and the Doctor spares her a quick look, eyes a gold that is almost too bright amidst all the surrounding red, before he refocuses on the machine. 

“There.” 

Sarah Jane obediently sonics the wire in place, but she turns to him once more, unwilling to let the topic drop. 

She spent six months wondering whether the Doctor was alive and well, and the last four grieving for a man who is not dead. And that was all because of his visit, his words, the message implied in them. 

And it was all a lie. 

Sarah Jane is only a human, but she _deserves_ an answer. She deserves the truth, after all they've been through. Even if it's something as vague as _I lived. Everyone else died._

She hopes she's earned enough of the Doctor's trust to get more than that, but she'll understand if he's too hurt to talk about it. Losing his whole planet and people can't have been easy, and whatever happened on Christmas that led him to approach her to try to make her believe he was dead… that doesn't sound like nothing, either. 

So, she nudges him gently, metaphorically speaking. For her sake and his. 

“You tried to make me believe you were the Master. Was it because of your face? Why did you take it?” she asks, as equally softly as before, and hoping with a pang of regret that Jo doesn't overhear. 

She's not sure how the Doctor will react, or how _Jo_ will, after that conversation with her and Tom in their room. The Master is a sore topic for Jo, but he was the Doctor's 'best enemy'. Sarah Jane is the only one with a neutral stance, at the moment, since she never met him – or so she thinks. The Doctor said something that implied the Master and Sarah Jane had met at least once, back on Christmas, but she can't remember such a meeting. 

“I didn't have a choice,” the Doctor whispers, voice hoarse this time, without even sparing her a look, and his eyes are darker as he puts another wire in place. “And there.” 

Sarah Jane sonics it, and decides to take a deep breath. 

He doesn't want to talk about it, that much is obvious. And he's hurt by whatever happened, she can see that as clear as day. So, Sarah Jane decides to drop the topic, at least until they are done with the Shansheeth situation, and focus on the problem at hand. 

“So, how did you end up in this place?” she asks, a bit louder this time, and the Doctor scoffs. 

His eyes are amber-green when they meet hers, though, so she counts it as a win. 

“How do I end up anywhere, Sarah? I was trying to fix a machine, came here to get the parts I needed, and the Shansheeth nicked the TARDIS. And now my Ponds are all on their own on the space version of Charles Dickens' _A Christmas Carol_ London. Great man, Charles Dickens, did you know he came through about believing in aliens at the end?” he chirps, grinning cheerfully, before the expression turns into a long-suffering scowl far faster than Sarah Jane can process. “But yes, I dropped the Ponds on a star-liner for their honeymoon, had to play the ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future to keep their ship from crashing on 44th century Sardicktown—and I _loathe_ Christmas, they better have a feast ready to pay me back for that—and then I had to come here to get the pieces to fix an isomorphically-locked cloud belt control machine, only to get stuck here when that bunch of vultures stole _my_ ship! Can you believe the nerve of some people? And who knows what kind of trouble those two will get into! Last time I left them alone, Amy became a two-thousand-year-old centurion and Rory created UNIT and launched David Bowie's career!” he huffs in protest, gesturing with a scowl on his face but fondness in his eyes, and Sarah Jane has to blink for a moment to try and make sense of that. 

When she does, she huffs a laugh and grins. Good old, Doctor. 

“So, you've a married couple in the TARDIS,” Jo comments, and Sarah Jane turns to her to see the sad smile she hears in her voice is also on her face. 

The Doctor snorts with a grin, but he doesn't look up from the wires he's fiddling with. 

“Yup. Mister and Mrs. Pond. Rory will try to tell you it's Mister and Mrs. Williams, but don't listen to him,” he answers with a shrug, sticking the wire in place and telling Sarah Jane to sonic it. 

“I only left you because I got married. Did you think I was stupid?” Jo asks, and _now_ does the Doctor turn to her, frowning in befuddled confusion. 

“What? Why would you say that?” 

“I was a bit dumb. Still am, I suppose.” 

Sarah Jane makes to stand up, indignant that Jo would dare say such a thing about herself, but the Doctor beats her to it, moving so swiftly that it's almost as if he has teleported from kneeling to standing in front of Jo. 

His shoulders are drooping carelessly, and his hands are in the pockets of his trousers, letting the wind rustle his coat and short blond hair. He looks like the very picture of nonchalance, relaxed as if whatever Jo said doesn't go with him, to the point the tilt of his head feels almost dismissive. 

“Who told you that?” 

Sarah Jane stays _very still._

His stance is harmless. But his voice… 

_“I have seen the end of everything Dalek, and you must make it happen, Doctor,” Dalek Caan says, barely above a whisper, and yet so clear despite the distance that no one dares move, listening attentively._

_“He's right,” the second Doctor whispers, the one in the blue suit and who's helping keep the Earth stable while the original Doctor gets the TARDIS together to send the planet to its original orbit. “Because with or without a Reality Bomb, this Dalek Empire's big enough to slaughter the cosmos. They've got to be stopped,” he adds, more strongly, more emotionally, lips curling into a snarl that has Sarah Jane hesitating and that clearly unsettles Donna – the Doctor Donna._

_“Just – Just wait for the Doctor,” she tells him, and the second Doctor stops and turns to her._

_Behind Donna, Sarah Jane's breath catches in her throat at his next words._

_“I am the Doctor.”_

That second Doctor had killed all of the Daleks with the flick of a switch, to _keep the universe safe,_ with the only justification that _he was the Doctor._

This Doctor doesn't have the same face, he has _Saxon's_ face, but he's still the Doctor, the original. He's just asking Jo who put the idea that she's stupid in her head, not justifying genocide with four words. 

So, why does Sarah Jane find herself remembering that terrifying moment aboard the Crucible all over again? 

Jo, lucky her, doesn't share that experience with Sarah Jane, so she smiles softly up at the Doctor, as if trying to hold back tears. 

“We'd been travelling down the Amazon for months, and we reached a village in Cristalino, and it was the only place in thousands of miles that had a telephone, so I called you,” she explains, and Sarah Jane forces herself to pay attention to her words, trying to chase away the coldness that has filled her veins. “I just wanted to say hello. And they told me that you'd left, left UNIT, never came back. So, I waited. And waited. Because you said you'd see me again. You did, I asked you and you said yes. You promised. So I thought, one day, I'd hear that sound. Deep in the jungle, I'd hear that funny wheezing noise, and a big blue box in the middle of the rainforest. You see, he wouldn't just leave. Not forever. Not me,” she explains, voice going soft as her eyes grow brighter with unshed tears, but her smile never leaves her face. “I've waited my whole silly life,” she chokes out, tears in her voice – and the Doctor kneels in front of her, tenderly grabbing her hands in his. 

“You've spent the past forty years living in huts, climbing up trees, tearing down barricades… You've done everything from flying kites on Kilimanjaro to sailing down the Yangtze in a tea chest, all of it to make this planet, your Earth, the kind of world you'd be proud of. Me, I just stole a ship and ran from responsibility, stumbling into amazing people who'd help me see the universe anew, while my planet descended into its own destruction,” he whispers, grinning at her with pride and a kind of softness that, despite knowing who's under it, still looks out of place on Saxon's face, though the expression turns self-depreciating when he mentions Gallifrey, turning his gaze to the ground – and looking up with a large smile and a squeeze of Jo's hands. “Josephine Grant-Jones. You've been _magnificent,_ and there's still so much ahead of yourself. You've been so great, so hardworking, in fact, that not even the TARDIS could pin you down. So, don't put yourself down when it was _me_ who let you down.” 

“What? No, but – Hold on. I _did_ sail down the Yangtze in a tea chest. How did you know?” Jo asks, startled and wide-eyed at his words, but the Doctor's grin only widens, recovering a bit of the mischief it had before, which warms Sarah Jane's chest once more. “Have you been watching me all this time?” 

“No,” he whispers, shaking his head, and finally drops Jo's hands so he can look at them, his shoulders slumping in a way that looks almost sad. “I didn't look back. I couldn't – _can't._ That Doctor… that was a different man, and I… I didn't deserve the name of the Doctor when I first got this face,” he explains, smile gone, and Sarah Jane approaches slowly, careful not to startle him, but he's too immersed in the memories that fill his eyes with pain to notice her, or the confused and slightly worried look Jo and Sarah Jane exchange. “I didn't think I ever would. My plan was to take the TARDIS and leave, travel and just… vanish from the minds of everyone. But I couldn't leave you all without… Yeah. So, I looked you up. Made sure you all knew what you had to, and that I did that one last good thing for you, the only good this face would ever do. And then the TARDIS malfunctioned and I ended up in Amy's garden, and she _refused_ to let me be a nameless bastard, so she helped me become the Doctor instead. Her and Rory and some other people,” he explains, curling his hands into fists and letting out a huff of laughter, but when he looks up into Jo's eyes once more, his are a bright cheerful green, even under the red light of this planet's star, and his grin is brimming with mischief. “So, there you go, Jo Grant. You traveled too much even for the TARDIS to keep up. But I _never_ forgot about you. How could I? You were always that pesky little human who kept me on my toes,” he laughs, and it's as if a dam has broken, because Sarah Jane and Jo start laughing with him a moment later. 

His story, what little he has revealed, is not reason for laughter, but… God, Sarah Jane would _love_ to meet this Amy Pond, the woman who helped the Doctor get over something so _horrible_ that he refused his own name. Her and her husband, Rory. 

So, for now, they laugh, rejoicing in the Doctor's high spirits and the irony of the whole situation, regardless of how dark the reason for his 'last visit' was. It all turned out alright, in the end. And they will make sure this time is no different. 

“It really is you, isn't it?” Jo asks when they get their breath back, and the Doctor grins widely in answer. 

“The one and only, Jo Grant-Jones. Hello again,” he chirps, jumping to his feet just to sketch an exaggerated bow for her. 

Sarah Jane takes a moment to just smile while Jo laughs but chastises the Doctor for the dramatics, before she decides that, now that all the important bits are out of the way, perhaps it's time they go back to UNIT and the kids she left behind. 

“Right, sorry to interrupt the theatrics, but we've got that lot back at home with the Shansheeth,” she reminds them, and the Doctor straightens with a nod and offers his hand to Jo to help her stand up. 

“True. So, Jo, I need you one more time. I can smell blackcurrant in that bag of yours, is it buchu oil?” he asks, pointing at Jo's purse, and she grins and immediately fetches a small dark bottle from its depths. 

“Hand-picked in Mozambique,” she proclaims proudly, handing it over and showing no loss or horror, despite her words, when the Doctor upends the tiny bottle in a depression under the 'top' of the machine. 

“Perfect! This will give the circuits the connectivity they need. Pass UNIT the bill for the next one,” he chirps, handing her back the now empty bottle before he reattaches the contraption. “We make a good team, don't we?” 

“Definitely,” Sarah Jane answers, smiling widely. 

“The best,” Jo adds, radiant smile on her face once more. 

The Doctor's grin dims to something softer, realer, _prouder_ – and sad. 

Oh, it's deep beneath the pride and joy, but it's there nonetheless. 

However, the Doctor doesn't give them the chance to ask about it, holding out his hands for them. 

“Ready for some intergalactic molecular streaming? Today, with a hint of blackcurrant!” he proclaims, and Sarah Jane grabs the offered hand with a laugh. 

“My favorite kind of intergalactic molecular streaming!” she quips back, and the Doctor's eyes brighten in glee. 

“So, this way, we will all stay on Earth? No more body switches?” Jo asks, also smiling widely, and the Doctor nods excitedly. 

“No more switching. Everyone stays on Earth from now on, safe and sound,” the Doctor confirms— 

—and the Crimson Heart vanishes around them, replaced by the boring gray walls of the Mount Snowdon UNIT Base. 

“Yes! You did it!” 

“ _We_ did it, Jo, it was a team effort, even if _I_ did the biggest part,” the Doctor corrects with a mocking grin, and Jo scolds him with a gentle shove on an arm while Sarah Jane looks around, trying to find out _where,_ exactly, they landed— 

And screams echo down the corridor. 

Sarah Jane and Jo stiffen in shock and surprise, but despite every single cell in her body screaming at her to _hurry up and save Clyde and Rani,_ the Doctor is still faster than her. 

Sarah Jane and Jo turn the corner barely two seconds after the Doctor, but by then, there's already one Shansheeth on the ground, trying to rearrange his ruffled wings and robes to get up, and the second is side-stepping away from the Doctor's grab, squawking fearfully. 

Sarah Jane makes a note of how effective Venusian Aikido still is, even with the size difference between the Doctor and the Shansheeth, but her attention is on the people crowding around a figure on the floor— 

“Clyde! Rani!” 

“Santiago!” 

The three of them look up at their names, and Sarah Jane almost physically deflates at the relief that washes over her— 

One large and strong arm wraps around her torso, immobilizing her arms, and Sarah Jane can hear Jo protest a similar treatment by her side. 

The Shansheeth. He wasn't knocked out, she _saw_ that, why did she just rush past and forget all about it? 

The Doctor stops, jerking around to see them in the grasp of their captor, and that's when the second Shansheeth delivers a bolt of red lightning into his back, making him stiffen with a pained grimace on his face. 

Sarah Jane screams, thrashing against the Shansheeth, but it's as if the bulky robes absorb the impact of her heels— 

The Doctor snarls and falls to the side, away from the electricity, only to turn on the Shansheeth with blue lightning arcing over his arms— 

The vulture aims at Clyde and Rani and lightning flies— 

And the Shansheeth carrying Sarah Jane and Jo drags them around the corner before Sarah Jane can do more than shout in warning— 

Clyde and Rani scream, and Sarah Jane can only hope that it is _not_ in pain, please, let it not be in pain, let it be surprise or shock but not pain, not her kids, please _no—_

But it's no use, no matter how hard Sarah Jane struggles, how much she screams. The Shansheeth may look like nothing more than a withered vulture, but he's definitely stronger than Sarah Jane. And he has wings. Any time her or Jo manage to destabilize him, she can hear and feel the wings opening and flapping to regain his balance. 

And no matter what they do, how much time they try to buy, the Doctor doesn't catch up to them – but the second Shansheeth does. 

Too soon, they arrive at the Chapel, and find Karim waiting for them. 

“Seal the chamber!” Karim orders the other two Shansheeth. “Well now, no more unwanted interruptions. The Doctor won't save you this time.” 

* * *

Clyde is panicking, he can't help but panic, any sane person _would_ panic, alien experience or not. 

Tom is on the ground, shirt burnt and dead, no matter how hard Santiago and Rani try to CPR him back to life. Sarah Jane and Jo have been caught by one Shansheeth. And the Doctor, despite having been struck by lightning not once but _twice,_ is putting up an impressive fight against the second Shansheeth— 

And then, the Shansheeth points at them, at Clyde and Rani and Santiago and Tom, and lightning _flashes_ – and the Doctor jumps in the way at the last second, taking the bolt of red electricity with a pained shout and collapsing immediately after. 

Luckily, the second Shansheeth bolts after the first, probably to make sure Sarah Jane and Jo don't escape, but Clyde is far beyond rational thought by then. He rushes to the Doctor's side, even though he can't even remember how to perform CPR and Santiago, the only one level-headed enough to remember, recruited Rani to help as soon as Tom was struck down, but he has to do _something—_

The Doctor takes in a large breath, jackknifing to a sitting position and scaring Clyde badly enough that he falls on his butt. 

“You're alive! Oh my God, you're alive!” Clyde shrieks, elated and yet still terrified after the whole ordeal and the scare the Doctor just gave him. “You're alive, and you've got Saxon's face, but you're alive!” 

“Yes, I've heard that before. Both 'that', actually,” the Doctor scoffs, pressing a hand to his chest and grimacing in pain. “Clyde, I need you to hit me.” 

And Clyde blinks, shakes his head almost violently, and is as eloquent as he can be at such a time and after such a request. 

“Huh?” 

“One of my hearts stopped, I need you to restart it! Thump me in the back, under the left clavicle, as hard as you can,” the Doctor explains, still breathing deeply but frowning in either annoyance or pain. 

“Right! Restart a heart, like CPR, give it a good thump. I can do that, I can do it…” he answers, mostly talking to himself and trying to ignore the _one of my hearts_ bit, and rushes to his knees behind the Doctor, locating his clavicle with ease. “Like CPR, like CPR, _like CPR!”_

And he pulls his hand back and delivers the strongest slap he can to the Doctor's back. 

The Doctor goes still under his hand, and before Clyde can make sense of it, he turns around to glare at him over his shoulder with _really_ dark eyes. 

“Do you seriously call that your _hardest_ hit?” he scoffs, and Clyde fumbles for a moment, torn between embarrassment and hard-assed indignation— 

“Breathe! Please, Tom, breathe!” Rani shouts when Santiago starts with compressions again, tears in her eyes and sweat on his forehead— 

And Clyde turns to the Doctor, uselessness and anger and something hot yet cold that has filled the hole where his heart was, and _punches._

The Doctor grunts, jerking forward with the strength of the hit, and Clyde jumps, startled— 

The Doctor laughs and hops to his feet. 

“Yes! Back in business! Good job, Clyde Langer. I wish I'd had you around when I got shot by Daleks,” he exclaims, amber eyes almost glowing and his grin sharp enough to cut, before he kneels by Rani's side and rests a hand on Tom's head, frowning in concentration. “Santiago, stop, wait for my signal – _Now!”_ he orders, and the boy times his next compression with his words— 

Tom gasps, eyes flying open, and his arms jerk around for a moment in panic, before the Doctor catches them, grinning once more. 

“There you are, Tom Milligan! Now, stay still, do as the kids tell you. I'll give you an earful about sacrificing yourself again when I explicitly forbade it later. Santiago, Rani, look after him. Clyde, look after _them._ And you, Groske, if you're around, that means you know every nook and cranny of this facility, so you'll come with me and help me get into wherever they're keeping Jo and Sarah. Chop chop!” 

And with that, he's gone. 

Clyde blinks, startled, as do everyone else, exchanging confused looks— 

“ _Groske!”_

The Groske jerks up from where he'd been cowering against the wall, and rushes after the Doctor as fast as his short legs allow. Which is _incredibly_ fast, actually. 

Clyde falls on his butt. 

“What just happened?”


	6. A Tale of Two Time Lords

The Shansheeth want the TARDIS to erase death from the universe. A noble but futile quest. Even the Doctor understood that, even after all the pain and loss. 

But Karim… she only wants to leave Earth, to take for the stars. If Sarah Jane could speak, she'd give her an earful about how _greedy_ people like her end up, time and time again. But she's focusing on anything _but_ the Doctor and the TARDIS and the TARDIS' key, so their Memory Weave can't recreate the key. She won't give it to them, she has to think instead of dusting her home, cooking lunch with Luke, anything but— 

“Jo, Sarah, can you hear me?” the Doctor shouts through the door, startling her out of her thoughts, and she feels a spark of vindictiveness when two of the Shansheeth flinch behind the third, ruffling their feathers in fear. 

Good. They _should_ be afraid. 

But there are more important things to worry about now. 

“They want the key!” she shouts, hoping he can hear over the noise of the machine. “They've got the TARDIS, and a Memory Weave!” 

“Too late,” Karim hisses, before turning to the Shansheeth manning the machine. “Full activation.” 

“And here I thought it would be difficult!” she hears the Doctor scoff even through the painful needle-like feeling in her brain, and she sees the same confusion she's feeling reflected on Jo's face, strapped on the upright gurney opposite hers. “I've got the original key here! Let them go and it's yours.” 

“You let the Doctor inside this room and he'll destroy us,” Karim hisses, ordering the Shansheeth to continue, and memories flash in Sarah Jane's mind against her will. 

Her first Doctor, the Second, the TARDIS surrounded by the most beautiful and mindboggling environments— 

“Fight it, Sarah Jane. Try to think of something else,” Jo tells her, as insistent as Sarah Jane herself is being, but no matter what she tries, the memories don't stop coming. 

“I can't.” 

“Neither can I.” 

That's it then. They're doomed. The universe will collapse when the Shansheeth try to stop death, leaving nothing behind— 

_A sky without stars, an Earth stuck in nothingness, the whole universe gone…_

_“I had a dream, in June. About a sky without stars.”_

_“Martha had the same dream.”_

… Is this really how the Doctor dies? 

“That's it!” the Doctor shouts, so triumphant that Sarah Jane is surprised when she opens her eyes and doesn't see him in the room. “Sarah, Jo! I want you to remember.” 

“We are doing. That's the trouble!” Jo answers, desperate, but the grin on the Doctor's face is clear in his voice when he next speaks. 

“Memories have power, a _lot_ of power, enough power to overwhelm any Memory Weave. So, I want you to remember everything. Every single day with me, every single second. Remember it, and do it properly! Give the Memory Weave _everything._ Every planet, every face, every madman, loss, sunset, scent, terror, joy – every Doctor! Every _me,”_ he tells them, and it's as if his very words bring the memories back, so much easier and painlessly than the Memory Weave does, and so Sarah Jane's mind is _flooded_ by her adventures with the Doctor. 

The Brigadier, the Daleks, Zygons, Krillitanes, _all_ of her Doctors— 

The Shansheeth are panicking, Karim is barking orders, the machine is overloading around her, but Sarah Jane focuses on Jo's laugh and the echoes of the past that seem so close, so _alive,_ that it's almost as if she's living them again. 

“Give it everything, don't hold _anything_ back!” the Doctor is still saying, and Sarah Jane focuses on him, because, with her eyes closed, it's almost as if he's standing by her side. “Clyde, Rani, Santiago, the Amazon, the Trickster, kites on Kilimanjaro, all of the countries in the world—” 

And with a loud _fritz,_ Sarah Jane finds herself free and back in the present. 

“Weave starting to self-destruct,” the computer informs them monotonously, but Sarah Jane is busy enough wrenching her arms out of the restraints and pulling the contraption off of her head. 

“I can't get out!” Jo calls, and Sarah Jane rushes to her side to free her before they make their escape while everyone else panics. 

The Doctor is here. He'll get them out of this. 

The doors are sealed when they get to them, but they can hear the Doctor on the other side— 

“What do you mean, you 'can't' open them? That thing is going to explode, we have to get them out!” 

“Power line gone. Doors stay closed,” a voice that sounds like one of the Groske answers him, and Sarah Jane immediately rushes through her pockets to take out her sonic lipstick— 

Which doesn't turn on. 

“Oh, come on, not now!” she scolds it, but the lipstick stays inert. “Doctor, I can't open the door! The sonic lipstick is drained.” 

“And I don't have my screwdriver,” she hears him hiss, hard as it is with all the machinery starting to explode behind them. “It broke, the TARDIS was making me a new one…” 

“And we can't get inside the TARDIS, because we stopped ourselves from getting the key…” Sarah Jane realizes, feeling dread flood her chest as she looks at the unmovable door in front of her. 

“I'll – I'll find some way to get rid of the door, I could break the hinges, unscrew them somehow. Or I can make a hole through the wall! Probably lose a couple fingers in the process but who cares about those, everyone will die immediately after when the explosion gets into the corridor without the lead-lining keeping the radiation inside and – _Argh,_ no, no _no!_ Think, think, there must be something I can do, I can't let you die, not like this, I can't – I can't…” 

“Doctor…” Sarah Jane calls softly, pressing into the door next to Jo, and feeling her heart break when she hears that wonderful man devolve into a panicking mess at the realization that, just this once— “You can't save us.” 

“No, I can, I _can!_ I'm the Doctor, I save people, I fix things!” he shouts back, pounding on the door, but he only sounds more in denial now than he did before. 

“You did. You stopped the Shansheeth from destroying the timeline. You saved the whole universe,” she tries to console him, smiling through her tears, and startling a bit when Jo wraps her hand around Sarah Jane's to give it a reassuring squeeze. 

“You make sure Santiago gets back to his parents, and we'll be good,” Jo tells the Doctor, smiling widely with sadness before joy chases it away. “And I want to say, I'm so glad I saw you again. I waited all this time, and it was worth it. Every second,” she adds, and Sarah Jane is the one to squeeze her hand this time so they can share a smile. “Funny thing is though, your funeral turns out to be ours instead,” she tells him, trying to cheer the Doctor up— 

_“Groske build rocket for funeral. Come and see. Come and see.”_

_“Rocket X-15 will take the Doctor's body into space, sealed inside a lead-lined coffin. Then he'll be set free. In death as in life.”_

_“Probably lose a couple fingers in the process but who cares about those, everyone will die immediately after when the explosion gets into the corridor without the lead-lining keeping the radiation inside and—”_

“Your funeral,” Sarah Jane repeats, the metaphorical lightbulb turning on as she turns around— 

And there it is, that dreadful coffin that had given her such grievances before they realized the Doctor was still alive, and which is lined with the only thing that can keep the radiation from an exploding Memory Weave at bay. 

“With a lead-lined coffin!” Jo exclaims, her eyes also on the object in question as she arrives to the same realization, and without losing a second more, they rush to get into it— 

Not ten seconds later, they are deafened and rattled around by the explosion of the Memory Weave. But as the Doctor said, they stay alive and unharmed, other than the scare. 

Of course, it isn't until the coffin lid is ripped off of them that Sarah Jane dares believe, hugging Jo as tightly as the other woman does her, just in case they did die and are now stuck in some kind of Heaven. 

But no, they aren't, because if they were dead, the Doctor wouldn't be there, swapping terror for relief when he sees the two of them unharmed inside the coffin, and there wouldn't be a Groske somewhere nearby commenting about how the room smells like roasted chicken. 

… Which, really, Sarah Jane doesn't want to think about. The Shansheeth had awful intentions, and were willing to do horrible things to get what they wanted, but they did it because they didn't want anyone else to die. Their death was probably quick, but Sarah Jane can't help but think that burning alive is— 

No. Relief now, make sure Clyde and Rani are alive next, and have a good think about everything else later. 

“You know, I'm getting tired of people thinking they can give me heart attacks just because I have two hearts,” the Doctor chuckles breathlessly before he offers them his hands, and Sarah Jane can't help but grin widely at him. “Up you go, Smith and Jones, before you _do_ actually scare me to death. Taken by vultures, seriously…” he grumbles, but he's still gentle as he helps them out of the coffin with scarred hands— 

No, not hands, _hand._

How Sarah Jane hadn't noticed that before, will forever remain a mystery. 

“What happened to you?” she asks, grabbing the Doctor's hand before he can take it back, and he grimaces when he notices what has her attention. 

“Daleks. But that's a story for another day. Let's check on the kids, shall we?” he deflects, grinning smoothly, and Sarah Jane allows it because he is right, they left Clyde, Rani, Santiago and— 

“Tom!” Jo and Sarah Jane shout in unison, finally remembering about the figure on the floor and who they'd left the teens with, but the Doctor simply scoffs. 

“Like I said, _kids.”_

They follow his firm but unhurried steps through the corridors, relieved when he tells them that he made sure Tom was back in the realm of the living before he left to fetch them, while the Groske goes to try and open the doors for the rest of UNIT personnel not affiliated with the Shansheeth. 

Sarah Jane tries not to think of Karim also being there when the Memory Weave exploded, aware that she had brought about her own doom with her selfishness, but also that she was as human as herself. 

When they finally find the others, Clyde, Rani and Santiago immediately jump to their feet to rush at Jo and Sarah Jane, relieved and worried, and Sarah Jane makes sure to hug her companions as tightly as she can to reassure them all. 

Tom stays on the floor, tired and pale but very much alive, and grimaces when the Doctor stops next to him, serious and with his arms crossed against his chest. 

“Thomas Samuel Milligan-Jones, you are _not_ allowed to die on my watch. Understood?” 

“God, don't call me that, you sound like my mom…” he groans, letting an arm flop to his face to cover his grimace, before the words fully catch up to him and he looks at the Doctor again. “Wait, it's not Milligan-Jones, that's not how it works.” 

“Yes, it is,” the Doctor proclaims with unbending finality and a superior grin on his face, and Tom groans once more. 

“… Martha never said you were like this…” 

“What? Fantastic, brilliant, magnificent?” 

“ _Pedantic,”_ he answers with a long-suffering sigh, and no longer squeezing Clyde and Rani to her sides, Sarah Jane laughs. 

“Oi! I'm not pedantic, I'm _meticulous!”_

“My point exactly.” 

The Doctor grumbles, but when faced with six laughing humans, relieved and finally calming down after their scare, he smiles and lets the topic go. 

Instead, he quickly checks Tom over with a stethoscope he pulls out of his coat's pocket and some simple 'look over here' exercises, before he decrees him fit enough to be moved and carefully helps him sit up. 

The Doctor helps Tom walk, letting him lean on his shoulder, though Santiago also helps, feeling guilty about the man's bruised ribs despite that being the reason he's alive now. Jo is given the TARDIS key, and so, when they reach the now destroyed chapel, they can all walk inside unhindered and without giving the teens much chance to ask what happened there. 

Of course, the Doctor's new TARDIS interior also helps with that. 

It looks a lot… well, a lot _nicer_ than the previous Doctor's TARDIS, to be honest. There are no grates or lose cables, though Sarah Jane is sad to see the almost organic patterning of the columns and walls has been exchanged by more artificial ones. However, overall, she likes how much more 'open' this TARDIS feels, with the brighter light and the dashes of white, and even with the glass floor. 

The TARDIS is humming in the background, and the sound, change of decoration or not, is just as welcoming as it ever was. 

The Doctor sits Tom on the jump seat, snaps his fingers to close the door, and vanishes through the first door on the left in the central corridor, appearing a moment later with what looks like a _Star Trek's_ tricorder and a small oxygen bottle and mask. 

“Here, Santiago. This is a bone regenerator, just hold it over his bruised ribs until it dings. I already set it up, so _don't press any buttons,”_ he explains simply, handing the tricorder to the relieved teen, who is so happy to be able to fix Tom's ribs that he doesn't protest, before the Doctor turns to Tom to hand him the oxygen bottle. “To make sure your brain gets enough oxygen now, and to take care of any distension of the abdomen. Don't worry, it'll do it slowly and painlessly, just hang onto it for about half an hour.” 

Tom takes the contraption with a grateful nod, applying it over his nose and mouth, and once the Doctor is satisfied, he finally turns to the others with a grin. 

He looks far more at ease now, relaxed at last without having to run all over the place to save the day, and Sarah Jane finally realizes how _tired_ she is. 

What a day… 

“Sarah, if you put the lipstick there, the TARDIS will charge it up for you,” he tells her, pointing to a small slot in the console, and she gratefully obeys, hoping she won't need it again but glad she'll have it if that isn't the case. “Everyone else, grab onto something. I need to make a stop before I can drop you all home, so as soon as we're in the Vortex, go down that corridor, first left, second right, third on the left, go straight ahead, under the stairs, past the bins, fifth door on your left,” he explains dizzyingly fast, flicking switches and adjusting knobs to make the TARDIS dematerialize with her characteristic _whoosh_ and just the slightest shaking. 

“What's there?” Clyde asks, grabbing onto the railing for dear life despite the calm 'take-off', while Rani gawks in awe at the bubble strings pistoning inside the time rotor. 

“The wardrobe. You're going to need a thick coat,” the Doctor answers, all mischief once more, as he easily materializes them on their destination. “Hurry up!” 

They do, too excited despite their previous exhaustion, and with Tom feeling well enough now that his ribs aren't bruised anymore to go with them. Fortunately, between all of them and Sarah Jane's and Jo's memories, they find the wardrobe with ease, and surprisingly enough, the control room is just down the corridor when they leave the room with their borrowed coats in hand. 

“Hey! You sent us the long way around!” Rani protests, though she's grinning too much to sound annoyed rather than impatient. 

The Doctor, who was fiddling with some controls and staring at the screen, looks up with an exaggerated innocent expression. 

“Me? Why would I do that? The TARDIS must have switched rooms around so you wouldn't get lost.” 

Sarah Jane laughs, because she knows the teens, and likely Tom, will take it as the Doctor mocking them, but she knows he's actually telling the truth. 

By the way Jo laughs as well, she knows it too. 

“Anyway! Now that you're dressed properly, let's go fetch my Ponds before they find trouble,” he chirps, cutting any possible protests, as he goes to the door. “Sarah Jane, Jo, Tom, Rani, Clyde and Santiago… Welcome to Sardicktown.” 

There's snow outside, and the buildings do look like something out of 19th century London, but the reason Sarah Jane lets out a soft _wow_ is the _music._

 _When you are here, music is all around_  
_When you are near, music is all around_

It's like the whole town is singing, and as she looks around and sees people playing with and delighting at the snow, Sarah Jane realizes that _this is what it is._ The town, Sardicktown, is singing. 

It may be a different planet or time or whatever, but for Sarah Jane, _that_ is the most magical detail of all. 

_Open your eyes, don't make a sound_

“Oh, it's _gorgeous,”_ Jo whispers, her breath fogging in front of her face, and Sarah Jane can't help but answer with a soft 'yes'. “Why are they singing?” 

“They want it to keep snowing. The cloud belt reacts to frequencies, aligning the crystals to clear it from its otherwise perennial gloom. The notes resonate in the crystals, if they are the right frequency, and when they are… Well, to put it simply, the clouds _open,”_ the Doctor explains softly, opening his arms to gesture at the snow all around before his grin falls. “Of course, they are _not_ the right frequency. Only one person in town can sing to open the clouds, and she's dying today, which is why I had to fetch those parts from the Crimson Heart. I'll need your help once more, Sarah, to fix that machine,” he adds, taking Sarah Jane's sonic lipstick out of his pocket to offer it to her – before taking it back. “Of course, if you lend me this, I can do it on my own, and you can explore the town and play with the fishes with everyone else.” 

“Fishes? Which fishes? _Ow!_ Something bit me!” Clyde exclaims, and when they follow his gaze, Sarah Jane is not surprised to see there _are_ fishes 'swimming' in the air. 

“That's amazing!” Rani exclaims, watching as the small school swims to a lamppost to peck at the glass, while Clyde grumbles mutinously. 

_Let in the light_  
_Let in the light_  
_Let in the light_

Sarah Jane smiles and turns to the Doctor – and extends her hand. 

“That sounds like a vacation after today, to be honest,” she tells him, and he laughs and returns her lipstick, accepting her offer to help. 

“Doctor! There you are!” a redheaded woman in Roman armor exclaims as she makes her way out of the crowd, off-white cape flowing impressively behind her, rather than dramatically, and followed by a man clad in the same kind of clothes. 

“I'll be honest, I expected to find you building creepy snowmen,” the man huffs, warily looking around the small square they are in, in case there _are_ any of said creepy snowmen around. 

The Doctor grins. 

“I'm saving that for when you don't expect it. Ponds, these are Sarah Jane Smith, Jo Grant-Jones, Tom Milligan-Jones, Rani Chandra, Clyde Langer and Santiago Jones. They helped me get the TARDIS back from a bunch of thieving vultures and a rogue UNIT agent. Everyone, these are the Ponds, Amy and Rory,” he introduces them, and Sarah Jane smiles widely as she extends a hand to the woman, who is glaring suspiciously at the cheerful Doctor. 

“It's a pleasure to meet you. The Doctor said only good things about you two, though he never mentioned you were Roman,” she tells them, because she'd figured that comment he'd made about Amy becoming a two-thousand-year-old centurion had been about her accidentally taking the part in some kind of legend, or similar. 

Amy and Rory blush brightly. 

“Um, no, these are just… costumes,” Rory stutters, shaking her hand too but trying not to meet her eyes at the same time. 

“They're real armor, actually. But yes, we're wearing them as costumes,” Amy corrects, as embarrassed as her husband but trying to not let it affect her, and Sarah Jane exchanges a knowing look with Jo. 

The Doctor _did_ say he'd left them on their honeymoon, after all. 

“She wants to train me,” Rory confesses, a bit worried, but the look he sends Amy is pure adoration. 

“Alright! Enough bedroom talk, Ponds, I _told_ you. Whatever you do in your room _stays_ in your room, I _don't_ want to hear about it!” the Doctor chastises, making them go red again as it _finally_ clicks for Tom and the teenagers. “Now, be good and give these guys a tour, will you? Tom, behave; Jo, keep an eye on the kids; and Rani, Clyde and Santiago, you're in charge.” 

“You _still_ sound like my mom…” 

“We're not kids!” 

“ _We_ are in charge?” 

“Well, of course!” the Doctor answers, focusing on Rani's surprise and deftly ignoring everyone else – until he gives them a _look._ “You three are, besides Sarah Jane, the only ones here who haven't died, and I'm taking Sarah with me. So! Come on, Sarah Jane, work to do!” he chirps, walking away from the startled group. 

“What does _that_ mean?” 

“Well, I'm pretty sure he's talking about that time we ended up in Atlantis…” Sarah Jane hears Jo explain, but whatever she says after is lost on her as she laughs and follows the Doctor to the large building in the middle of town, from where a beam of energy is projected into the sky. 

“Do I want to know?” 

“It's a _long_ story,” the Doctor groans, but he still tells her how Amy got herself shot protecting him, fell through time and had her consciousness transplanted into an Auton that believed herself a centurion of the New Roman Empire of 12010, and how she killed Rory when she was activated. 

They are already working on the machine, trying to circumvent the isomorphic lock or, in its defect, copy the machine's functions onto a different one so it can be used to control the cloud belt by anyone instead of the dead man who made it, when he finishes his tale. 

“That sounds like quite an adventure,” she whispers as she watches him work, sonic lipstick at hand for when he calls for it, like at the Crimson Heart. 

“It was _awful,_ mostly, but I got some good things out of it,” he answers with a shrug, hissing when the movement jars a wire that delivers him a zap. 

“Like becoming the Doctor again?” she pries softly, and he stills. 

For a second, Sarah Jane waits, before she starts to think that maybe he isn't ready, even now that they don't have any possible audience— 

“Did I ever tell you that 'Time Lord' is not the name of my species?” he asks her instead of giving an answer, and Sarah Jane decides to let him change the topic due to her interest in this new one. 

“No, I don't think you did. What does it stand for?” she asks, smiling as she sonics the node he asks her to. “What's the name of your species, then?” 

“Oh, Time Lord is a synonym nowadays, but the actual name would be Gallifreyan. Or Shobogan, but Shobogan came to be everyone who wasn't a Time Lord, so it doesn't mean the same thing now as it did back then. So, Gallifreyan would be it, really. But Gallifreyan don't travel across time and space,” he explains, focused on whatever he's doing to the machine, lying on his back with his coat off but kept close, so he can grab the pieces he stuffed into his bigger-on-the-inside pockets while he was at the Crimson Heart. “They can't. Because there's this thing on Gallifrey – There _was_ this thing on Gallifrey, a gap in the fabric of reality, through which one could stare in the Time Vortex itself. That's how Gallifreyan became time-sensitive, evolving on the planet on which the Untempered Schism opened. And because there wasn't such a gap anywhere else in the universe, they felt bereft of something when they left, hearing the call of Gallifrey that wouldn't let them leave,” he adds, stopping for a moment as he either glares at whatever he's working on or at the memories, but Sarah Jane is too interested in his words to shake him out of his thoughts. “Of course, that was before someone had the _bright_ idea to look into the Untempered Schism, to the Time Vortex. And something _changed_ in them. They understood the universe differently now, they saw things other Gallifreyan couldn't or wouldn't, and when they tried to leave the planet, they didn't find it impossible anymore. Time is everywhere, after all, if one knows how to look for it. And so, they became the first Time Lords, though whether they chose the name or it was the idea of whoever they came across, no one thought to write it down,” he scoffs, shaking his head and once more renewing his work on the machine, calling for the lipstick for about a minute to secure whatever changes he made before returning it to Sarah Jane. “But the problem about that, about initiating time tots via staring into the Schism, is that _no one_ is meant to look into time, into _all_ of it. Not even Time Lords. So, when they did, something _changed_ in them.” 

“And what happened?” Sarah Jane asks when he goes silent, glaring up into the innards of the machine, and she doesn't know if he looks actually haunted or if the shadows are playing tricks on her. 

The Doctor shakes his head nonetheless, focusing back on the present, and spares her a quick look before he reaches for a new part to try to arrange inside the machine. 

“Four things could happen. The first is that the child broke under the strain. They would be taken away, never to become a Time Lord, and depending on how badly they still needed the presence of the Untempered Schism, they either became soldiers or moved away from the Schism, to other roles which would never leave Gallifrey. The second is that they become inspired, but don't take that word at face value. 'Inspired' Time Lords are those whose brains suffered a rearranging. They suddenly understood things they hadn't before, in a way that was different than anyone else, and focused on that field to excel over all others. They were the ones to build the first Time Travel Capsules, and after, the TARDISes, when they deciphered the intricacies of Time well enough to navigate it. They tended to stay on Gallifrey, unless their attention laid somewhere else, but between you and me, they went a bit _cuckoo,”_ he explains, going as far as to grin at her and make circles around his temple with a finger, and Sarah Jane can't help but laugh. 

“That would explain you,” she answers, and the look he gives her is so _insulted_ that she can't help but laugh again. 

“Oi! I'm not one of _them,_ how could you _ever_ think I was inspired?” he protests, but huffs and rolls his eyes before she can answer, once more turning to the machine. “ _Anyway,_ the third option is that they would go mad. Again, don't take the word seriously. 'Mad', in this case, means that they… changed. Something in them broke, and they became _different._ They made excellent leaders, because they didn't think like everyone else. But they also made terrifying villains. The founder of Time Lord society is the best example,” he snarls, flinching when he crushes something inside the machine that makes sparks fly. 

Sarah Jane doesn't dare ask if that example was a hero or a villain. She thinks his reaction is more than answer enough. 

“And the fourth?” she asks instead, trying to redirect the conversation, even if she's not sure there is a point to it anymore, other than it being interesting. 

The Doctor doesn't talk much about Gallifrey, in general. Now that it's gone, Sarah Jane had expected him to be even more tight-lipped, which is why she's watching him carefully, in case there's something there other than him getting a weight off of his chest, or sharing about his lost planet with someone who would understand. 

Sarah Jane lost her parents. The Doctor has lost everyone. She doesn't think it can compare, but she can make an effort and _try._

The Doctor stills once more, gaze lost in his memories, and Sarah Jane steels herself— 

“They ran. The bit that broke in them… They didn't feel the same attachments as other Time Lords. They couldn't care about certain relationships, or topics, or… Or even their own planet. They ran until they could find something they could relate to.” 

Sarah Jane doesn't need to ask, finally realizing why the Doctor had been so offended when she'd mentioned he could have been an 'inspired' Time Lord. 

His words, soft and almost spoken only to himself, if not the shadows in his gaze, are more than she thinks he ever meant to reveal. 

She tries to find a new topic, a joke or comment that would break him out of his gloom, of the guilt and loss she can only hope she _never_ understands, but he resumes his work without another word. 

And so, Sarah Jane lets the words fade in the background, sonicking a couple more spots before he opens his mouth for something more than a request for the lipstick. 

“There were two time tots, two best friends, who wanted to become Time Lords to explore the universe. When they turned eight, they were taken for initiation. The first went mad. The second ran,” he explains, nonchalant, almost as if he isn't telling Sarah Jane the story of his life, and she stays very still and very quiet to avoid startling him. “They went through the Academy together nonetheless, helping each other, supporting each other, playing hooky together,” he continues, grinning proudly with a hint of mischief, and when Sarah Jane laughs, he merely looks at her long enough for a cheeky wink before he turns to the machine once more. “They graduated. They were sent to the same TARDIS for their service as Time Lords, to learn the ropes and do their duty for Gallifrey. And the first Time Lord took his first life,” he says, and just like that, all the cheer is gone, leaving Sarah Jane cold enough to shiver and think about putting her coat back on. “Suddenly, their philosophical discussions became strained. Just a bit, but the tension was there. And when the second Time Lord regenerated, after their return to Gallifrey… Well, let's say that tension, and the pressure his house put on him to be a _proper_ Time Lord and take care of his responsibilities… All those shaped that regeneration to the point their friendship was at the border of collapse. Suddenly, they couldn't understand each other anymore. Their previous adventures were nothing more than ridiculous childhood escapades. And then, seemingly out of the blue, the second Time Lord stole a TARDIS and left. And the first one followed.” 

He glares up at the inside of the machine before he pulls out, rummaging through his coat for some time in absolute silence, and Sarah Jane lets him. 

The Doctor doesn't say why he left, which, honestly, doesn't surprise her. But what he's already revealed is far more than the three other Doctors she met put together. 

And Sarah Jane finds herself _worried._ Why is the Doctor telling her that? What reason would he have to be honest about his past _now,_ of all times? Could it be that he really has nothing left to lose now? Could it really be that he just wants someone else to know? 

She doesn't know. So, when the Doctor shuffles back under the machine, with a lot of different tools and pieces next to his head now, and starts talking again, Sarah Jane listens. 

“They met again. The first Time Lord thought they could still work together. But the second one ran, leaving the first to deal with the mess on his own. For a long time after that, they didn't meet again, each going their own way, each growing into vastly different and opposed Time Lords, though they kept up with what the other was up to. And then, the second Time Lord was exiled to a little pre-spatial era planet, and the first decided to follow. They fought, against and alongside each other. Their relationship changed yet again, to something that they couldn't define as either best friend or enemy. And then, they went off into the stars one more time. The first Time Lord ran out of regenerations, and stole a body. The second became a righteous defender of those who couldn't defend themselves. They kept clashing, they kept collaborating – until the Daleks got in the way. The Last Great Time War finally started, after brewing for as long as the Daleks had existed. And both Time Lords fought in it – until they couldn't anymore. The first Time Lord was the one to run this time, hiding at the end of the universe under the guise of a human. And the second was the one to destroy. Gallifrey. The Daleks. The Time Lords. He destroyed it all,” the Doctor whispers, hands stilling in the machine, but no matter how hard Sarah Jane tries to make out his face, the shadows are too thick. 

Can he even see the wires, with such darkness? Or is he hiding? 

She doesn't know, but she _does_ know that this is hard for him. She can see him shaking. 

Sarah Jane hesitates, trying to figure out if resting a hand on him will be taken as the support she intends or remind him he's not alone, but the Doctor takes a deep breath and continues before she can make her choice. 

“The second Time Lord thought he was alone, the last of the Time Lords, but met good people who helped him find joy in the universe again. He kept traveling, and eventually, he ran into the first Time Lord's disguise, and unwillingly brought him back to his old self. Only, not really. The first Time Lord was even crazier now. He'd heard drums beating in his head ever since he stared into the Untempered Schism, but it was only then, with Gallifrey gone, that the drums became unbearable. They made him desperate, _sloppy._ They scared him so much that he chose to die in the second Time Lord's arms instead of regenerating,” he continues, never stopping his tinkering now, though Sarah Jane suspects it's mostly to keep himself busy, to distract _himself_ from his own story, maybe even to drown his own words, though ineffectively. “But he was always afraid of dying. He had planned for that, and he came back yet again. On Christmas of 2009.” 

Sarah Jane takes in a sharp breath. 

Saxon's face everywhere, before memory fails. The Doctor's visit, trying to convince her he was the Master, and that the Doctor was dead. 

This is it. This is the revelation she has feared yet longed for ever since that Christmas. 

The Doctor is still and silent, composing himself with deep, long breaths, and when he resumes the story, his voice is soft and pained, forcing Sarah Jane to lean closer to be able to understand his words. 

“They discovered that the first Time Lord wasn't mad. There really was something in his head. And when he had the tools, gifted by an _idiot,_ he turned the whole planet into himself and used their minds to triangulate the origin of the beat – to find Gallifrey and take it out of the Time War.” 

… That explains the red planet in the sky. And, unfortunately enough, it also explains his renounce of his own name. 

The Doctor helps people. Destroying Gallifrey during the Time War to stop the Daleks is one thing. Being unable to save them _before_ he's forced to destroy them, _for the second time,_ is something else. 

But the Doctor keeps talking. 

“The second Time Lord took a gun. And so, when Gallifrey returned and that _bastard_ Rassilon stepped through the Infinity Gate, he was ready. Rassilon would destroy the Time Vortex, _the whole of time and space,_ to save himself and his chosen few,” the Doctor seethes, actually _seethes,_ shaking in rage this time before he forces himself to calm down, and Sarah Jane can't believe what she's hearing. 

The Doctor's people – how could the same race the Doctor belonged to think that destroying the universe to save a few was acceptable? It was horrible that people had to die, but – would it have even _worked?_

One way or another, the Doctor clearly disagreed with the plan, if that mention of him taking _a gun_ is any clue. 

“To stop Rassilon, to keep Gallifrey in the Time War, though, the second Time Lord had to destroy the anchor. Either Rassilon, or the first Time Lord. Only, _of course,_ he found another way. He destroyed the Whitepoint Star, the diamond Rassilon had sent to anchor Gallifrey once it was located, and Gallifrey returned to its destruction. But Rassilon wouldn't lose. He lifted his Gauntlet, ready to unravel the second Time Lord – and the first attacked Rassilon.” 

Sarah Jane _really_ wants to see the Doctor's face now. His voice has gone flat, terrifyingly so, and his shaking is gone, but the words he's speaking do _not_ fit his current _artificial_ calm. The Doctor is disassociating, he's separating himself from the events he's describing, and alien or not, Sarah Jane knows that's not good. 

But she doesn't know how to help, beyond letting him finish his story and deal with what may come after. 

“They managed to shove him back into the Time War, and they were left behind, the last two Time Lords in all of existence. Only, the second Time Lord got fatally wounded saving his companion. And he had no regenerations left,” he whispers, and it takes Sarah Jane a second to understand what the words actually mean, spoken as they have been in that empty monotone. “Neither of them did. Gallifrey was gone, and soon, they would follow. But the first Time Lord refused to believe. And the second Time Lord refused to give up. He ripped the drums out, and he pushed what little regeneration he had left into the other, just enough to fix his body – and he died.” 

Silence. 

The Doctor goes silent, with only that confusing last sentence hanging between them, that 'he' which could apply to either Time Lord, to the Doctor or the Master. And Sarah Jane finds the knot in her throat is not as tight as she'd feared when she finally manages to open her mouth. 

“I'm so sorry.” 

The Doctor pushes himself out from beneath the machine, eyes on the floor, and leans his back against it with a tension on his shoulders that Sarah Jane wishes would break. A good cry would do him _marvels,_ she's sure, and now that it's just the two of them, now that he has no monsters to defeat or new companions to protect, she hopes he will finally drop the pretense and allow himself to grieve for his planet, his people, his _best friend._

The Doctor looks up, eyes pale and vulnerable— 

“The Doctor died to save me.” 

It doesn't make sense. 

The words don't make sense, they _can't_ make sense. The Doctor is here, in front of her, hurt and grieving but very much _alive._ Those words _don't make sense._

_“He had a list.”_

They just _don't._ There's no way those words can make sense. 

And yet, the Time Lord keeps talking, never looking away from her, never breaking eye contact. 

“I delivered his goodbyes. I tried to take the TARDIS and just leave, disappear, be _forgotten._ But the TARDIS was damaged, and we crashed in Amelia's garden, when she was seven and a half. Somehow, she got the idea that I was the Doctor and I – I couldn't correct her, when we met again twelve years later. I couldn't tell her the Doctor was dead. But she stuck by me, and so did Rory after, and River and Jack – they stuck by me. They called me Doctor. They thought I could save people, that I could be the kind of person the Doctor would be proud of. And when the universe needed the Doctor…” he continues, more frantically, more _desperate,_ before his next words get stuck in his throat and he finally looks down, at the hands shaking in his lap. “I became him. I became the Doctor, and I saved the universe. On 26th of June of 2010, the Doctor's universe died. And I brought it back. I tried to bring the Doctor—the _real_ Doctor—back with it too, but… I couldn't. He… he had a last message for me too. That I had been _his_ Doctor, the person who pushed him to be better, to find alternatives that didn't involve death or hurting others. That I _was_ the Doctor's Doctor. But I'm not,” he whispers, hands curling into shaking fists, with the left wrapping around the right to dig his nails into the Dalek scars. “I'm not, am I? I may know all he did, but I didn't _live_ it. I may have met you and Jo and Jack and so many others, but I didn't travel with any of you. And I may have saved Earth and other people and even the whole universe, but I endangered it so many times before, shed so much blood… And I won't apologize for that!” he scoffs, tensing and glaring at her as if _Sarah Jane_ would tell him he had to, daring her to defy him, but her brain and body don't seem to be connected anymore because she can only stare at him wide-eyed. “I still think a lot of things could've been easier to solve if I had just sniped the idiot of the day before their _bright_ idea could come to fruition. I still wish I had just thrown all this 'no killing' nonsense away and dealt with all of the _bastards_ who think they can go and do _whatever_ they please with the universe without bothering about the consequences,” he hisses, but deflates a second later, staring sadly down at his hands. “But if I did, Amy would have died. She would have _staid_ dead. And Rory would've thought his wife left him at the altar, that she'd just vanished in the night, never to show up. And Charybdis wouldn't have been able to say her goodbyes. And Cardiff would have been erased from history. And… And I kind of don't want that?” he confesses, somehow making it sound like a question, like he's trying to confirm with Sarah Jane that he's capable of being a decent person, going as far as to look up at her through his eyelashes. “I don't want Amy and Rory to die, I don't want them to get hurt. And I don't want the universe to be destroyed because I live in it, but also because… because I want to travel. I want to see every star, all that ever was, is, and will be, so I can fulfill my promise and tell the real Doctor all about them when I finally die.” 

And he looks down, takes a deep breath and straightens, finally meeting her eyes. 

He isn't Sarah Jane's Doctor. 

But he sure isn't the Master. 

“I want to be a good Doctor.” 

_“Just – Just wait for the Doctor.” ___

____

____

_“I am the Doctor.”_

Sarah Jane's vision blurs, her breath hitches, her shoulders shake – and before she can process it, she finds herself wrapped around a slightly cooler body, face buried in a shoulder tense with shock, while tentative hands hover awkwardly over her back. 

_“Goodbye. My Sarah Jane.”_

_“She will never be forgotten.”_

She cries, long and hard, letting out a grief so strong, so all-encompassing, that she doesn't think she's ever felt anything as strongly before. Cool but comforting hands finally land on her back, the arms attached to them engulfing her in a hug so loose that she could break it with just a thought, while a cheek covered with stubble rests on the side of her head just strongly enough to be felt. 

And she cries. 

She doesn't know how long it's been when her tears abate at last, and she hears the beat echoing under the skin of the neck her ear is pressed against. 

_Dun-dun-dun-dun. Dun-dun-dun-dun._

A beat like drums. Hearing it now, alongside the soft melody that is more felt than heard, Sarah Jane can't imagine them driving anyone crazy. 

And yet, when she finally pulls away, when all noise ceases and the hands and cheek vanish as if they had never been there, Sarah Jane meets green eyes with a halo of gold around the iris, filled with hesitation and discomfort – but also with worry. 

_The second Doctor presses a button and Daleks start exploding everywhere, the Crucible falling apart all around them._

_“I am the Doctor.”_

But the Master confessed his deepest secret, revealed himself in front of her after he'd convinced them all that he _was_ the Doctor, and admitted to the Doctor dying so he could live. 

_“I want to be a good Doctor.”_

“I'm sorry,” Sarah Jane whispers, voice raspy after her outburst, and the alien blinks in confusion, brows furrowing softly. 

“What for? It's just tears, it's alright. And a bit of snot. But that's alright too, I have a washing machine,” he answers with a crooked grin, trying to make light of the situation, but they're too close and he's still too rattled to be able to hide the hesitation in his eyes. 

Sarah Jane breathes in, and manages to put a small smile together. 

“You _are_ a good Doctor.” 

His eyes blow wide, breath stuck in his throat, and just in case, Sarah Jane slowly leans forward and wraps him into a warm and loose hug. 

With a chocked sigh, he hugs her back. 

Unlike her, the Doctor doesn't cry, but it still takes him some minutes to get his breathing under control again, finally pushing away and resting a hand on her cheek with a grateful smile. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, and Sarah Jane grabs the hand and squeezes it reassuringly, so he can know she is alright even with the sadness in her smile. “And, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for things to go that way.” 

“If there's one thing I've learned with the Doctor, it is that there's life after him, no matter how impossible it seems. That he showed us the best of the universe, so we could make the best of _our_ universe. And I think you've taken that lesson to heart,” she tells him, a bit calmer now, and his next smile is so tender and relieved that she feels that, in time, she could do as she preaches and get over the hole in her chest. 

“So _that_ is why he liked you so much. And he was right. You could _never_ be forgotten, Sarah Jane Smith,” he chuckles, his thumb wiping away a stray tear that somehow still manages to fall despite her new smile. “And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But know I'll never forget you either.” 

Sarah Jane frowns softly, confused at the words that somehow seem to echo in her mind, her sight distorting even when there are no tears left— 

And blinks. 

The Doctor looks worried, but as soon as he sees her focus on him once more, he gives her a beaming smile. 

“There you are! I told you to be careful. That was quite a spark, I thought you'd lost an eye,” he scolds, mostly out of relief, and Sarah Jane feels herself redden softly. 

“Oh, come on. I _was_ careful. How come it is my fault one of the buttons _on top_ sparked when you turned the machine on?” she protests, and he finally drops his hand from her cheek to rummage in his coat and hand her a handkerchief. 

“Right, of course. It's my fault now,” he mutters mutinously, picking his tools and spare parts up while Sarah Jane cleans herself, and screwing back all the panels. “Anyway, we're done here. Thanks for the help, and all that. Now, want to go see the fishes?” he asks, cheering up once more, and for some reason, a part of her pangs with nostalgia, as if she's looking at the echo of something long lost that she hadn't thought about for a really long time. 

Sarah Jane shakes her head to clear those nonsensical thoughts, and accepts his hand to get to her feet. 

“With you, Doctor? Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notable Inspired Time Lords: The Visionary.  
> Notable Mad Time Lords: Rassilon and the Master.  
> Notable Runner Time Lords: The Doctor and Susan.
> 
> Yeah, I didn't expect Sarah Jane's reaction to the story either. Of course, the DoctorMaster's idea to go about explaining it wasn't in the draft either, he was supposed to just say it, or for it to even go untold, with just a mention of something like _"And then he told her everything that had happened that Christmas Day, from the Master's return - to the Doctor's death."_ But no, he wanted to go the long way around...
> 
>  **Next time:** Amy, Rory, River and the Doctor go for a picnic.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm trying a new posting method. **Natalie_the_whovian** suggested I write the episode and post it all at once, like I've been doing, but breaking it into chapters. I thought it was _fantastic,_ since it would allow me to make as many changes as needed to the episode until it's 'done' without modifying posted chapters, but it will also make it easier for me to edit it into Ao3 _and_ it won't be as daunting for readers as it could be when faced with a 20k something fic.
> 
> The one change I'm making to the original idea is that, since the episode is all done, I'll post the chapters as soon as I'm done editing them. Thus, either I post all chapters (hopefully no more than 5-6 per episode) all in one day, or over the course of a couple days. Depends if I'm taking a break between editing for whatever reason. Let me know what you think!


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